


we could be friends (we could be true love)

by Laureliar



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Mommy Issues, Past Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Emma Swan, Slow Burn, Yearning, season 2 cannon diverence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26640640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laureliar/pseuds/Laureliar
Summary: Canon divergent from 2x10 Cricket Games,What if Emma believed that Regina didn't kill Archie? What if Emma and Regina just decided they were done fighting? How does this decision change the course of season 2? Slow burn, character centric, friends to loversI'm not overly interested in the plot of canon season 2 but some events that happen there will happen here.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 40
Kudos: 376





	1. We could be friends (Emma)

**Author's Note:**

> Cannon diverges at some point during the cricket game, but I have not watched season two in YEARS and I'm not gonna. I'm also reshuffling and ignoring some of cannon prior to 2x10 in efforts to serve my ultimate goal of maximum Regina and Emma.
> 
> EDIT: THis is the first fic I started and the fifth fic that I'm finishing. The first five chapters I wrote in 2020 are quite different from the last eight chapters I wrote in 2021. bon appetit to everyone who filters fics by: complete only!

Emma was waiting in the pawn shop for Gold to acknowledge her presence. Mary Margret... Snow White... her mother... had convinced her to come here and ask Gold for magical solutions to Archie’s murder. Emma was the Sheriff and apparently the Saviour but she wasn’t allowed to conduct a simple murder investigation without oversight from Snow White, rightful queen of the enchanted forest. Gold was hovering nearby, not offering her help, but instead waiting for her to engage him. Emma didn’t trust him. Emma did not want magical solutions to her problems, that’s all well and good for Regina, or Gold, or Regina’s crazy evil mother, but Emma grew up in Boston.She trusts her own two hands infinitely more than anything else. 

She didn’t know why she felt compelled to ask the question but she did. Nothing had been sitting right since her return to Storybrooke. Something about Regina's crumpled body being the first thing she saw when she exited the well rattled Emma. The backstory that Henry explained did not make things clearer. Who could Regina and Gold fear enough to decide that working together was a preferable option? Who could Gold fear at all? Emma understood that Cora was strong and devious and smart but Gold was the dark one. Regina had by all accounts escaped her mother before. Surely Evil Queen plus Dark One trumps Cora Mills. 

“Why were you so afraid of Cora coming through the portal?” Emma could see Gold switching into defence and got ready to read into whatever cryptic response he offered. 

“Cora mills is incredibly dangerous and not a fan of mine.”

“But not as dangerous as you right? And definitely not as dangerous as you and Regina combined?” It wasn’t enough for Emma, how did Gold even know Cora?

“You can’t underestimate the effect Cora would have had on Regina. Who knows how she would have behaved had Cora gotten through.”

“Jeez” Emma snorted, “what did you do to her anyways? teach her how to spin straw into gold in exchange for her first born baby?” She could not say why the original tale of Rumpelstiltskin came back to her in the moment but Gold’s reaction told her all she needed to know. “Oh my god you did! What the fuck Gold!” It took Emma too long to make the connection. “Regina! You tried to take Regina before she was even born? What did you want with her?” Emma could not place where the outrage in her voice was coming from. She had never pictured Regina as a child before.

“I do not understand the tone you are taking right now Miss Swan. I clearly did not take baby Regina away from her mother. You know enough of the story to know that.”

But if Rumplestiltskin made a deal with Cora to take baby Regina, and never ended up taking her...“That’s why you’re so afraid of Cora then! She actually managed to get out of one of your slimy deals.”

“I’m afraid I don't know what you’re going on about.”

Emma’s superpower was going nuts. “You’re lying. Cora is smarter than you and she ruined whatever you had planned for Regina.”

Something flashed in Gold’s eyes.“I would hardly go that far dearie. I got what I needed from Regina anyways. She was always weak willed and soft hearted. Cora knows it just as well as I do, her power is so easy to exploit.”

Emma felt like everything was spinning. She thought back to the first days after the curse broke, when she read Henry’s storybook. It had been her feeble attempt at understanding the crazy town she was the supposed saviour of. Leafing through the things she learned, one stood out to her: Rumplstiltskin wrote the dark curse. “You knew you needed Regina to cast your curse before she was even born. Everything you’ve ever done to her since before she was even born was so the curse could be cast then broken.”

“Come now saviour I’m not the villain here. Are we really pitying the poor evil queen?” It was as good as an admission for Emma. “I did no worse to her than Cora or Leopold or anyone else.”

Emma did not know the evil queen, she had only ever met Regina. Regina was cold and mean and stubborn and vindictive and beautiful and human and the mother of her son. “Leopold? My grandfather?”

Gold sneered, “Regina's husband, dearie don’t be naive.”

Emma's stomach roiled. She thought about the tone of the storybook, she thought about the way Mary Margaret spoke about good king Leopold, she thought of Regina lying crumpled in the dirt next to the well, crackling with green magic. All of it made her sick. “Fuck off Gold, I’m done talking to you.” 

* * *

She left the pawn shop at a sprint and did not stop running till she was at the door of 108 Mifflin Street. She was breathing heavily and she pounded on the door “Regina!” She hollered “Regina!”  
The door swung open just as Emma was raising her fist to knock again. Admittedly Emma had not planned this far ahead. She was red faced disheveled and sweating. Regina looked perfect as always, not a hair out of place, looking down her nose at Emma. The slump of her shoulders was barely visible.

  
“Miss Swan. What in the world are you doing? If you are breaking down my door to accuse-”

  
“It’s not your fault!” Emma interrupted her.

  
“Excuse me”

  
“Regina, how old were you when you first met Gold?”

  
“Miss-”

  
“Come on Regina.” She was frankly in awe of herself for getting this far, baffled Regina was letting her talk and interrupt like this.

  
“Fine! I met the stupid imp when I was like seven years old but I didn’t really know him till I was 17. He showed up before my wedding and helped me get rid of my mother.”

  
“You were seventeen when you got married?”

  
“Miss Swan what is the meaning of this.” Regina’s patience was clearly wearing thin as she snapped.

  
She took a deep breath. “I know you didn’t kill Archie and I know you’re not evil.” Regina crossed her arms and scoffed but Emma ploughed on. “Our families, Gold, Cora, Leopold, they were fighting each other before you were even born.” The way Regina twisted at explicit mention of her husband confirmed everything that was whirling in Emma’s head. “ It’s like a cycle. You were born and they all tried to use you to win whatever messed game they were playing. And they all messed you up so bad that you started doing things that hurt Mary Margaret, and me and the cycle just kept going. And now we are all so messed up by each other that we do things that hurt Henry.” Regina has not moved an inch while Emma ranted and raved around her. If Emma was not so sure of her rightness she would be starting to panic now.

  
“Miss Swan, are you having a stroke?” Regina's tone was clipped and proper as always but Emma knew better. She was right and Regina was almost convinced.  
Emma took another step forward. “Regina, it’s a cycle and we can stop it.”

  
“WE?” Oh boy Emma was losing her grasp on this conversation.

  
“You and me and Henry.”

  
“And how exactly are we going to fix this cycle.” Regina’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she said the word cycle.

  
“We’re just going to stop hurting each other.” Emma insisted. Regina scoffed again. “Regina, I know you didn’t kill Archie, I believe you. I know you’re trying. I’m done fighting you. I’m done trying to keep Henry from you. I want us to be friends.”

  
Regina's lip curled and Emma braced herself for Regina to lash out. Instead something twisted in her expression. “You believe me?”

  
“Yes”

  
“You don’t want to hurt me?”

  
“Absolutely not.”

  
“Why not?”

  
Emma thought that was a ridiculous question to ask, but coming from Regina she supposed it made sense. “Because I think this will be better for all of us, Henry included. And I don’t think you’re a bad person.” She knew she was using Henry to get Regina to listen to her but she didn’t feel bad about playing dirty like this.

  
Regina laughed again, bitter and twisted, “if you don’t think I’m a bad person, then you haven’t been paying attention dear.”

  
She sounded self loathing more than anything else. In this new light Emma found it hard to imagine being scared of this woman. “I think I’m the only one who’s paying attention Regina.” Regina's inhale was almost a gasp.

  
“Okay” she said, in the smallest voice Emma had ever heard her use.

  
“Okay?”

  
“Okay we can do this.”

  
Emma smiled, feeling almost delirious with relief. She stuck her hand like she expected Regina to shake it. After a moment of excruciating stillness she did. “Friends?” Emma pressed  
“Friends.” Regina confirmed.

  
“That means you can’t kill my parents. Friends don’t kill each other’s parents.”

  
“Miss Swan, I may have little experience on the subject of friends, but I wasn’t planning on murdering the uncharmings any time soon. Even if we weren’t friends I find the task holds little appeal.” Regina was back to full volume and full snipe.

  
“Friends use first names Regina.” Emma was gleeful in her victory.

  
“We’ll see Miss Swan.”

  
“Have lunch with me tomorrow. I’ll bring Henry. I think he misses you. We can talk, all three of us, tell him that we’re friends now.”  
Regina nodded stiffly and Emma took off again before Regina could take back anything that had been said in the last five minutes.


	2. Love is Weakness (Regina)

Regina could not fathom what had caused her to shake hands with her enemy, blush, and meekly agree to a lunch meeting. Something about how earnest the saviour had been, it had barreled right through Regina’s defences. When Emma said that she believed her she’d almost been convinced. She’d almost been convinced someone could just believe her. Regina could hear her mother scolding her for leaving herself so exposed. ‘Love is weakness.’

Yet Emma hadn’t pulled the rug out from under her after Regina let her guard down, she’d just smiled, still too earnest, and borderline skipped back to her yellow monstrosity of a car. “What the fuck!” Regina shouted, throwing the wine glass in her hand into the wall. It shattered and she felt significantly better. She wasn’t one to use such crass language normally but she felt rattled. The transition from being accused of murder to being asked for friendship was a jarring one. This had to be a trick. The magic inside her was thrumming. Being someone with active magic was not a passive action. The magic did not just sit there waiting to be called on. It was alive. That was the strangest thing about living in Storybrooke, getting used to the sensation of not having magic rattling through her body. It was profoundly lonely, to have nothing to keep her company in her empty body. Ever since the curse broke and her magic returned, it was like the magic had turned on her, like it was eating her alive. She needed to knock the dust off. She needed to use her magic again. More than anything she needed to siphon off the hostile blocking spell she’d absorbed to allow for Emma and Snow to emerge through the well.

She couldn’t do magic though, Henry would hate her even more if she started doing magic. When she was a child her magic had been soft like a flutter in her chest. She was just barely aware of its presence and she definitely hadn’t known what it was. Over time, the more she practiced with Rumplestiltskin, the more intensely the magic within her rattled, at times vibrating so hard her teeth chattered. It was unpleasant to be unable to release the magic that was dying to get out of her, but it was still preferable to the early days of the curse. It may have been her magic that cast it, but it was Rumple’s magic that knit the curse together, prepping it to be cast. So in those early days, when the curse was still actively feeding on her it felt like there was an overwhelming amount of Rumple’s magic feeding off of her, leeching away at her. She’d take her own magic in any state over that.

She was pacing her kitchen like a caged dog. She felt like a caged dog. She grabbed another wineglass out of an open cabinet and shattered it in her barehand. The crackle of magic that allowed her to do it felt like fresh air. She grabbed a plate next, it exploded into dust in her hands. She made her way through half her china cabinet before she felt stable again. Unbidden, her mind snapped back to that moment when Emma said Leopold’s name. She decided that was what did it, what made her trust Emma in that moment. The implication that maybe Leopold had hurt her was something no one had ever approached before. Did she mean it? How could she know when no one else ever had?

She still felt a little unstable the next day when she got into her car to meet Emma and Henry for lunch. She parked, got out of her car, looked either way down the street, and saw Daniel. She stopped in her tracks and counted to ten. She was not seeing things right now. This lunch was important and she was not seeing ghosts. She opened her eyes again and Daniel wasn’t there. Good, everything was fine. She entered Granny’s to see Henry and Emma already sitting at a booth at the back. Regina was thankful that for once, Emma was on time. The looks she was receiving from the diner patrons would’ve made her uneasy to wait there alone.

Regina walked over briskly and tried to smile. Henry was here, sitting right in front of her by choice.

“Hi mom” he said shyly. The title, her title, ‘mom’ made her strained smile feel just a little more genuine.

“Regina.” Emma’s voice had an oddly similar tone as Henry’s. They mirrored each other like this, sitting side by side, both hesitant, with something like hope in their voices.

“Hello Henry, I’m glad you’re here. Miss Swan.”

“What aren’t you glad I’m here?” Emma’s joke was clearly an anxious one, to break the tension, it worked to an extent.

“I have no particular feeling about your presence” Regina delivered in a deadpan fashion.

“Don’t listen to her kid, we’re friends now.” Emma stage whispered conspiritorily to Henry.

He giggled briefly. “Is it true mom? Are you guys actually done fighting?” The hope in his voice almost killed her. Was it always this simple? Could she have reconciled with Henry ages ago just by doing this?

“It is true. Miss Swan and I have agreed to become friends. I was serious about seeking your forgiveness and stopping magic, and I am serious about this.” Emma looked so pleased that Regina felt nauseous.

Henry nodded once in acceptance and their lunch slid into a pleasant if strained rhythm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I am doing Daniel now instead of in episode 5 because I want Emma to be there for it. This is my wish fulfillment fanfiction, I can do what i want.


	3. Frankenstein Situation (Emma)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some season 2 plot from someone who hasn't watched season in like five years.

Emma felt triumphant as she walked back to the station. That was civilized. That was borderline friendly. Regina smiled three times. She could do this. Emma could be the saviour for everyone, including Regina, she could pull their rag tag little family together into something real. David and Mary Margaret were sitting together at David’s desk eating lunch.

“Hey Emma,” David said as she walked in. “Your mother and I were just talking about Archie, what advice did Gold give you.”

Emma cringed a little at the phrase 'your mother' and calmly said “I didn’t get help from Gold in the end.”

“What, why not?” Mary Margret asked.

“I don’t trust him. The man is sleazy, and he tried to kill us a matter of days ago."

“How many times has Regina tried to kill us in the last month alone.” Mary Margaret retorted.

“I don’t see why that’s entirely relevant” Emma grumbled, taking a seat at her desk. “And she saved us from Gold last time I checked.”

“I’m just saying, how come you won't take help from Gold but you have no problem going out for lunch with Regina?"

“That’s so different. How did you even know about a lunch that just happened?” Emma was getting irritated with this weird hovering motherly act Mary Margret was pulling out.

“Granny texted me, she was concerned” Mary Margret sniffed.

“Well Granny can stuff it. Regina is the mother of my son, and she is trying her best right now, so yes I have no problem having lunch with her.”

“Emma don’t be silly, you’re Henry’s mother,” David interjected, missing the point.

“I’d like to be, but the ten years I was gone matter, and the ten years Regina was there matter. They miss each other and I’m just trying to build something here.” Why couldn't they see that she was trying to do good?

“She killed Archie.” Mary Margaret countered.

“I’m sorry” Emma said, taking a seat at her desk in an attempt to indicate that the conversation was over. “The last time I checked, I was the Sheriff, you were my deputy” she pointed at David, “and you” she pointed to Mary Margaret, “were a fifth grade teacher. So forgive me if I don’t take advice from civilians about an active investigation.”

The phone ringing cut Mary Margaret off before she could respond. David responded to the person on the other end in short, clipped affirmations while Emma tried to avoid Mary Margaret’s gaze. He set down the phone with too much force. “Emma we have to go to the hospital, Whale has been attacked.” Emma felt at best a modicum of guilt about being thankful Whale had been attacked. The two peeled out of the station in her yellow bug.

Whale was swarmed by nurses when they got here. His face was bleeding and the exam room he was lying prone in looked like it had been torn apart. “Who did this?” Emma pushed her way through the crowd in attempts to interrogate Whale “Which way did they go?”

“Was it Regina?”

“David!” Emma exclaimed. “I’m sick of this. If Regina wanted to kill Whale she’d poison him or burn him alive, she wouldn’t just hit him.” Emma realized that maybe that wasn't the most rock solid defense she could’ve come up with but it rang true.

“He’s a monster,” Whale sputtered. “I created a monster.”

“Oh my god is this a fucking Frankenstein situation” Emma muttered in exasperation.

“It’s the fucking stable boy. I should’ve left him in that crypt.” Whale spat.

David blanched and stiffened at that. “Emma you need to go find Regina” he said solemnly.

“Didn’t you hear what he was just saying? This wasn’t Regina.”

“No, I know. But I know who this was and we need Regina.” David seemed dejected. “Quickly before anyone else gets hurt.”

Something about the tone of David’s voice overrode her annoyance in his vague phrasing and spurned her into action. She took off down the halls of the hospital towards the exit and she dialed Regina’s number. She had her hand on the driver’s side door of the bug when she spotted the very woman she was calling, standing like a statue a few feet away.

“Regina!” She called out, pocketing her phone and running towards the woman. “Regina, David says we need your help. Whale got attacked, I don’t know what’s going on, something about a stable boy.” She shouted her explanation as she ran up to Regina. By the time she was within arms reach she processed the depths of the blankness of Regina’s face. “Regina” she said again, grabbing the older woman’s upper arm.  
“I thought I was just seeing ghosts,” Regina whispered. “He’s dead, I didn’t think he’d be here.”

“The stable boy? Listen Whale said he created a monster, he said something about a crypt. Is there a reanimated corpse walking around right now?” Regina shuddered slightly. “David seems to think that you’ll know where he’s going next.”

Regina took a deep breath and nodded. “He must be confused. He must be looking for me. He’ll be going to the stables.”

Emma didn’t have the time to totally unpack what Regina was saying. “Regina, Henry is at the stables.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next four chapters are longer, promise.


	4. Love Again (Regina)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once Upon A Time got taken off of Netflix so even if I wanted to figure out what happens in season two I could not

They pulled into the stable so quickly the wheels of Regina's Mercedes squealed. The two women were out of the car almost in sync and took off at a run. Regina was a step behind Emma as they rounded the corner to the row of stalls where Henry’s horse was boarded. Every hope and fear she’d ever had came crashing down around her at once. Daniel towered over a cowering Henry. His hand was raised and his shoulders and back a mess of tension Regina had never seen before. She had also never seen Daniel strike another living being before though. 

Emma drew her gun and suddenly everything was white noise to Regina. She let herself feel the magic buzzing within her for the first time in weeks. She focused on the sensation in the tendons of her wrist. It was as easy as breathing, she stopped Daniel in his tracks. He was suspended there, first raised, never striking. 

“Henry come here, Miss Swan, put that gun away.” Henry scampered around Daniels' still frame and shockingly, into Regina's arms. She allowed herself to be warmed by the action for exactly five seconds before she pulled Henry away so she could grasp his shoulders at almost arm's length. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” He shook his head mutely. She could see the tears forming in his eyes. “I’m sorry I used magic, but I’m going to have to use a little more to finish this.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “You had to, and you didn’t even kill him even though you could have.” Every word that came out of his mouth trembled. What a brave beautiful little boy he was. She ached at the idea that this is how Henry Daniel Mills is meeting his namesake, that he has no idea. 

She turns to the saviour who is poised like a guard dog, shielding them from Daniel. “Miss Swan, please take Henry and get out of here.”

“Regina don’t be crazy, I’m not leaving you here with that thing."

“Miss Swan, that thing is Daniel and I have to unfreeze him. I have to see if...It might not go well.”

“Regina-”

“I won’t put Henry in danger, even for this. Please get him out of her.”

“Listen he’ll wait at the back, I’ll be with him. We’ll run if we need to but I’m not leaving you here alone.” Emma had her hand on Regina’s upper arm now. She was entirely too close. Meer weeks ago they stood this distance apart to spit venom at each other through gritted teeth. The only thing left in Emma’s eyes now was glistening concern. Regina couldn’t bear to look. 

“Stand back” She pushed Emma off and away from her and resolved to not look back.

“Be careful mom” Henry called out after her, in the small voice of a scared child. Her resolve softened but didn’t break. She reached out to Daniel and let her hold of him melt away. He turned on her with empty eyes and made a low dangerous sound as he advanced on her.

“Daniel please-” He grabbed her by the throat and hoisted her into the air. She was vaguely aware of Emma and Henry behind her screaming. She sucked in air trying to keep some in her lungs as her vision blurred. “Daniel” She croaked out, reaching out a shaking hand to touch the familiar spot on his cheek. 

The switch was as quick as turning on a light. Regina’s feet hit the ground so abruptly that she fell all the way down to her knees. He stumbled back from her and she wrestled her way onto her feet. He was blinking rapidly until he locked eyes with her. “Regina?” 

“Daniel” She ran to meet him on unsteady legs and fell into his arms. They embraced like they had when they were both young and full of light. He was still wearing the clothes Regina had had him buried in. His best tunic, the one he was going to wear when they got married. His hands moved from her back, to her shoulders, up to the sides of her face as he took a half step back to look at her. “It’s really you” she reveled in every moment of contact. 

He pushed his fingers into her short hair as if he was studying every way she’d changed since they last saw each other. She closed her eyes at the feeling. “Regina” he gasped.

“I love you, oh my god I love you.” She felt like she was going to burst if she didn’t say it as soon as she could. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to hear his voice and take his hand in hers, she wanted to listen to him talk and lean her head on his shoulder. 

He stumbled back from her suddenly, his face screwing up in pain. “It hurts, Regina, make it stop. Please” He clutched his chest.

“I’m sorry” she sobbed, her voice hitching. She knew the only way to end this.

“My heart is gone Gina. I can feel the emptiness. Please make it stop.” 

“No, don’t make me do it. Daniel I can’t.” He stepped forwards again, muscling through the pain and took her face in his hands again. It felt so familiar, so right. She was shaking. “I can’t live without you. Please, I’ve been trying for so long and I can’t do it. Don’t make me do it.”

“I-” whatever he was about to say was cut off as another wave of pain racked his entire body. “I don’t want to be a monster, I can’t control it. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“I love you” she felt like she was begging. A queen never begs. Regina felt like she was seventeen again. 

“Then love again” he whispered. She could see the light leave his eyes as he lost control of his body again. If she were Snow White true love's kiss would fix this. She would kiss him and he would come back to her. But he didn’t have a heart, and her love was never enough. He raised his hand to strike her and she almost let him. They could leave this world together for the last time. But Daniel wouldn’t want to hurt her and she couldn’t die where Henry would see. So instead she raised her hand to meet Daniel’s and she let the magic flow out of her. She stopped him dead before he could bring his hand down again. She knew how to kill a person who had a heart, but she did not know how to do this. She closed her eyes and let the love flow out of her, drawing the magic in from the anchor point in her chest, where she hadn’t felt magic in years. It felt right. It was where she used to draw magic from when she healed injured animals around her father’s estate. She thought maybe if she pulled the magic from here it would give Daniel a gentler end. He slowly faded into dust and blew away, as if he’d never existed. Nothing remained.

She felt gentle arms around her as she started to sob, two sets of arms. Deep in the back of her brain it registered that she should not let them see her like this. But their hold on her was the only thing keeping her on her feet


	5. Your heart (Emma)

It took nearly a minute of utter vulnerability for Regina to pull herself together enough to be ashamed of crying in Emma’s arms. Emma felt the moment it happened. Regina stiffened in her arms and swallowed the next three sobs and disappeared into a cloud of purple smoke. And suddenly Emma was left alone with this kid who she had not yet had to parent in any meaningful way. It was one thing to be the foil to Regina’s evil psycho mayor act, and take the kid out for ice cream and give him a walkie talkie. It was another thing to deal with the fallout of the kid being attacked by a frankenstein monster and then witnessing his stoic mother have a total emotional breakdown. 

“Emma, can I go home?” Henry said in the smallest voice she had ever heard.

“Yeah, sure kid. I’ll just call Mary Marg-”

“Not to the loft” he interrupted. “I want to go back to Mifflin st.”

“Okay. We’ll drive your moms car there. She’ll want it eventually.”

The keys to the Mercades were still in the ignition. Driving it felt like an invasion of Regina’s privacy, not the first or last of the day. 

“My middle name is Daniel.” Henry said, out of nowhere, shattering the silence of the car ride. “She named me after him. Who was that?”

“I’m sorry kid, I don’t know. Is he in the book?”

“No.” Henry sniffled. “Do you think she’s okay?”

“Is there anything in the book about Regina from before she married the king?” Everything in Emma is telling her not to press this. Not here, not now, not in front of Henry.

“No.”

She lets the subject rest at that and they finish the drive in silence. When they arrive at Mifflin street Henry goes up to his room right away. His actual room. The one he spent ten years in before Emma showed up on scene. Emma wasn’t even sure if Regina was here. She could have poofed anywhere in the town really. She couldn’t leave Henry alone and besides she didn’t really like the idea of Regina being anywhere other than here.

With these thoughts in mind Emma crept up the imposing flight of stairs and down the hallway to the closed door of Regina’s bedroom. Concern overrode her desire to respect Regina’s space when there was no response to her knocks.

Regina’s room was so jarringly different from the rest of the house Emma briefly thought she’d taken a wrong turn. Everything was soft creamy shades of white. There was a lack of the regal ostentatious decor of the rest of the house. This room would not be in place in an Evil Queen’s castle. In the middle of the back wall there was the bed made up in white linen with Regina sitting cross legged atop it. All the grandeur was drained from her posture. She looked alarmingly small. Even in her killer heels she was a couple inches shorter than Emma but she had never looked small before. Her hair was wet and curling around her chin and she wore a matching set of light blue pyjamas. In her hands she cradled something glowing a faint red. As Emma approached she slowly she became more and more positive what it was,

“Regina is that your heart?”

Regina scoffed. “Don’t sound so distressed Miss Swan. I’ll put it back in a moment.”

“Hey, I know I’m new to the whole magic thing, but I don’t think this is something you should be so casual about. That’s your heart.”

“Taking it out doesn’t hurt terribly.” Regina remained overly casual in her responses, her eyes not leaving the dim black and red organ.

“Okay well that’s not exactly the only worrying thing that is happening here.” Emma felt like she was going crazy here. There was no way she was the one who was wrong here. Regina was clearly nuts. She sat down on the bed next to Regina, with her feet anchoring her firmly to the ground.

“My mother used to take my heart out every so often, when she needed to to prove a point. It didn’t always look like this you know?” Regina held her heart vaguely aloft in a flippant gesture that made Emma flinch, barely resisting the urge to grab it and put it back in Regina’s chest. It was mottled purplish-black, with a glowing red emanating from somewhere deep inside it. “I wasn’t born awful. When I was younger my heart was red like anyone else's. I don’t know if that makes things better or worse. Rumplestiltskin did it too sometimes. Not as often, but enough.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Did you know that having your heart out numbs your feelings? I know what I should feel but it’s just not there. Most people who have their heart taken out die within seconds, so most people don’t know what it feels like to exist without your heart.”

“Regina I can get why you don’t want to feel all your emotions right now, but you should really put your heart back in.”

“You don’t know how much you feel your heartbeat until you stop feeling it. I took my heart out when he died. The day before my wedding to the king. Actually I had Rumplestiltskin take it out and I put it in a box. I lasted four and a half months before I cracked and put it back.” This statement filled in a couple important cracks for Emma. “I put it back cause I couldn’t do all my magic without it. I had been able to heal wounds ever since I was a little girl. I never told anyone about it. I discovered one day when I was out with the horses. My favourite broke her leg and I didn’t want my mother to have her killed. Healing magic is all love, It sits deep in your chest and it doesn’t work without the love, or at least compassion. That’s why I can’t heal myself.” Regina gestured at the prominent scar on her upper lip that had always intrigued Emma. “That’s also why you can’t do it without a heart.”

Regina put her heart down on the bed between them and Emma almost touched it. She felt so drawn to it. She remembered when Cora had tried to pull out her heart and something inside Emma had prevented her. Emma rested her hand on Regina’s shoulder instead of the faintly glowing heart.

“I have to keep my heart in because it wouldn’t be possible for me to love Henry without it in.” Regina sounded like she was steeling herself. “I don’t know how to love very well, but at least I can give him my full heart.” Emma wondered if Regina was also considering Daniel’s final plea to her, to love again. Emma wondered if she’d ever consider it. “You know I remember kissing him after he died. I thought true love's kiss was real, and that it would fix anything as long as you loved enough. But love is not a strength, it's a weakness. You’d do well to remember that.” Regina turned her head to look at Emma for the first time since she’d entered the room. Shockingly her words came off as a warning, not a threat. They were so close Emma couldn’t breathe. Regina held her gaze so steadily. Emma could’ve sworn that she sat as far away from Regina as she could’ve, so why were they nearly nose to nose.

Regina slowly lifted her heart up to her chest and pushed it in, without breaking eye contact with Emma. It happened with so little warning or ceremony that Emma gasped. Her gasp was mirrored by Regina’s soft inhale as the heart slotted back into place. She could see the strain in Regina’s face as her emotions returned. A tear slipped out of Regina’s eye and she finally turned away from Emma. “Get out of my house Miss Swan” she whispered. Emma turned and fled without any protest. 


	6. Mother (Regina)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first fanfic I started writing. Now that I have a lot more under my belt I feel more confident about where this one is going
> 
> Special thanks to Sammii for commenting on ALL my fics including this one

The first surprise of the morning came when Regina walked downstairs and saw Henry sitting at the kitchen island, like that last year hadn’t happened. Was Emma gone? Was this the reward for being friends with the saviour, she could wake up and get to see her son with his messy hair and sleepy morning face.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” she asked, because she couldn't imagine what else she’d say.

“You’re gonna make me go to school right now?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes... I am.” It seemed like the right answer. She had gotten him to school on time without fail for years now. Why should this be different? “Are you coming back here afterwards?” This all felt unfamiliar, as if she had never been a mother before. 

“I don’t know, Am I?” A ten year old should not be the one making these decisions, why had they let it get to this point in the first place.

“I’m going to talk to Emma today. We’ll work out where you stay. Go get dressed for school. I’ll make breakfast.” 

“Emma?” He seemed incredulous. He seemed equally as unsure around her as she felt around him. God she longed for what they used to have.

“Go get dressed.”

* * *

The second surprise of the day was far less pleasant. After dropping Henry off at school she ventured to her vault. She needed time to think, to be alone. She wanted space to grieve, grieve the same death for the hundredth time, but the vault was open. The vault that could only be opened by blood magic was open. Regina’s only blood relations were trapped in the enchanted forest or laid to rest in the vault that should not be open. If Whale had somehow resurrected her father she would start setting things on fire. The realistic part of her brain knew what was actually happening. A sick dread settled in the bottom of her stomach as she descended down the stairs.

Her mother was standing in front of the collection of hearts. The glow they produced through their drawers backlit her in an eerie red light. The hearts were amassed part by Cora and part by herself. Regina is sure that neither of them could say who the hearts belonged to. At her most bored, about eight years into the curse, she had tried to identify the person to match each heart. It had been a fruitless endeavour. 

“Mother?” Regina resisted the urge to run. She suddenly felt like a small child again. She had so rarely been nose to nose with her mother in her adult years. The last time she had seen her mother it had been her body, in the moments before she cast the curse. Regina had twin desires fight and to fall to her knees and cry. It was the fresh reminder of Daniel that steeled her heart. She took a step back.

“Regina dear. It’s so good to see you.”

“I had you killed.”

Her mother smiled a tight smile. When Regina was a child she interpreted that look as loving. She knows now that it’s something else. “That’s all in the past dear. I’m your mother. How could I hold a grudge for something so trivial? We’re all each other has after all.”

“You’re not all I have.” She thinks of Emma the night before and Henry this morning.

“You can’t possibly think that. You always were naïve though. These heroes don’t care for you. They’ve been blaming you for killing the cricket haven’t they? Do you really think they’ll let you have the boy?”

For a moment Regina thought her mother must be right. She was naïve and that’s why she always lost. But then it occurred to her, “Mother, did you have something to do with Archie?”

“That’s not important. What’s important is that I’m your mother and I love you and those people don’t care about you like I do.”

A past version of Regina would agree. But maybe Regina did think Archie’s life was important. Maybe he was kind without condemning her. Maybe she could not swallow the idea of her mothers love for her when she had relived Daniel’s death so recently. “You’ve never loved me.”

“No one loves you like I do.”

“Daniel loved me.” Because even if her mother was right about Emma and Henry that was one thing she could never take away from her.

“What? That stable boy? Regina that’s in the past. You know what happens when you don’t listen to me.” That was the final blow. Let Cora have unfettered access to her vault, there was nothing of true value in it anyways. Regina turned and fled. “I will be waiting for you when everyone else turns on you.” Cora calls as a parting blow.

* * *

Regina was pulling into her driveway when her phone rang. “Hello?” She sounded shamefully out of breath.

“Listen Regina, I’m about to leave for New York and I just wanted-”

“Why are you going to New York?”

Emma sounded equally as distressed as Regina did right now. “I owe Gold from a favour he granted me before the curse. This is him collecting.”

“Emma you can’t trust him.” Regina did not recognize the concern she was feeling right now. She didn’t like the idea of Emma being alone with Rumplestiltskin. 

“I know, but I have to do this.”

“He’s more dangerous than you expect. Even without his magic he must have a plan. He always has a plan-”

“I know, I believe you.” Emma cut her off and her voice was softer now. Regina felt heard. It made her heart flutter, and it made her even more scared for Emma.

“Don’t forget your gun, make sure you have it with you where he can’t get to it.”

“Regina you know I called you for a reason, right?” Regina stopped her tirad about Emma’s safety short. “You obviously need to keep Henry while I’m gone. We can figure out a schedule between the two of us when I’m back but for now Henry is safest with you.”

Suddenly Regina realized she was playing with different information than Emma. “Wait, I think you’re wrong.”

“What?”

“My mother is here. I just had an altercation with her in my vault. I don’t think Henry is safe around me while she’s here.”

“Regina are you safe while she’s here?” Regina couldn’t have imagined Emma asking her this with such sincerity.

“I don't believe she means to kill me.”

“Are you safe?” 

“I think she might’ve killed Archie to try and isolate me.”

“Fuck. Regina that’s fucked up.” Regina felt tears burning at her eyes. It was fucked up. It felt so good to hear Emma say it. 

“It’s just the kind of thing she does.” Regina whispered.

“Come with me.”

“What.”

“Grab Henry, pack your bags and come to New York with me. Cora can’t follow you past the town line. We’ll both be there to make sure Henry is safe and we can both watch each other’s back in front of Gold. He can’t say no to me bringing you. The three of us are the only ones who can cross the townline without additional magic.”

Regina couldn’t say no. It was perfect. All she wanted was for Emma to watch her back. She did not want to be left alone in Storybrooke with her mother lurking in the shadows, waiting for her. “Okay. Give me thirty minutes. Let’s do this.”

Regina could almost hear Emma’s smile. “Yes ma’am. Meet me at the loft.”


	7. We Could Leave (Emma)

Getting Regina and Henry on the plane to New York was two inches short of a fiasco. Thankfully Regina had twenty-eight years to overthink things and had a whole array of documents for her and Henry, including passports. “These are impressive.” Emma had remarked. “You’re like a really good document forger. How did you decide what year to make yourself born in if you didn’t know when time would unfreeze?” Regina had snatched the passports back and glared at her.

That was shockingly not the hardest part about their trip though. It wasn’t convincing Gold that Regina and Henry should come either. Regina was scared of flying. Henry was scared of flying like a kid who’d never flown before but Regina was  _ really  _ scared of flying. Emma noticed it in the security line. Her hands started to shake and she slowly clenched and unclenched her fist. While Henry spoke Regina left the questions hanging for Emma to answer. 

They were sitting at the gate when Emma couldn’;t handle it anymore. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be Miss Swan?” The words came out razor sharp. 

“You seem a little nervous.” Regina just glared at her in return. 

“Of course she’s nervous. She’s always been such a cowardly little fool. There’s nothing for her to hide behind out here.”Gold interrupted. Henry had been in a good mood all day, excited about the new adventure. He frowned now. Maybe he was used to hearing Evil Queen but this was more personal.

Regina clenched her jaw and glared at Emma. “I’m not scared of anything, let alone something so trivial.”

“Who are you pretending for? Is it the saviour or the boy? Because all you have ever done is whined and w-”

“Gold stop.” Emma snapped. Her voice was loud enough to interrupt his tirade. Regina’s face had twisted into a familiar expression. She looked ready to growl. “I’m here doing you a favour and I’m only here as long as Regina is. Don’t forget that you have no power out here in the real world.” 

Gold’s facial expression was eerily similar to Regina’s. “Don’t forget that we’ll all go back to Storybrooke eventually.” He stared directly at Regina and neither of them broke eye contact for longer than was comfortable. Henry moved closer to Emma and Regina never fully relaxed in her seat. 

On the plane Regina sat sandwiched between Henry and Emma. Henry gazed out the window and Emma stretched her legs into the aisle while Regina sat ramrod straight in her seat. Emma made a couple scan’s of the plane to ensure Gold wasn’t seated in view of them. She nudged Regina lightly, nothing too intimate. “Kind of exciting?” She was going for light and breezy. Regina raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s a short flight.” 

“Long enough to die.”

“Mom!” Henry scolded.

“Sorry Darling. It’s just flying on a dragon makes sense. Doing this, this makes no sense!” She got a little shrill at the end.

“You’ve rode a dragon before? Regina, that's so sick.”

“Oh it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Tell us about it mom.” Henry turned away from the window towards them. The rest of the ride went better after that. 

* * *

From the moment the plane touched down Emma was undoubtedly in charge. It was too late for her to look now so she promptly steered her band of misfits to a nearby motel. Regina curled her lip in distaste and kept a firm hand clasped on Henry’s shoulder. Both her and Gold seemed generally silenced by their lack of power in this big City. Emma ordered two rooms, a single and a double. She shot Gold a warning glance when she handed him his key.

Away from Gold Regina made her distaste for their sleeping situation known. “It smells awful in here. There are only two beds.”

“Accommodations in New york are expensive, what were you expecting princess?”

“Princess?” Regina said incredulously 

“I’m sorry  _ Your Majesty.” _ Emma shot back sarcastically, stepping into Regina’s space. 

“Hey moms. It’s so cool in here.” Henry hollarded from deeper in the room. “Look, we get a free book. What’s Gideon?”

Emma stepped around the corner and saw Hanry holding up the bible from the drawer of the nightstand. “Nothing kid, it’s just something that Christians do.”

“What’s a Christian?” 

Emma’s jaw dropped. “It’s like one of the biggest religions in the world?” She looked at Regina for guidance.

“What’s a religion?”

“What!? Regina?”

Regina sniffed haughtily. “What? I obviously came across the idea of religions in my 28 years of research about this world. However the concept didn’t exist in the Enchanted Forest so there was no need for it to exist in Storybrooke.” 

“Fair enough I guess.” Emma shrugged. 

“But what are they?” Henry whined. 

“Um, in the world without magic, before they knew about like science and shit... Wait Regina do the kids in Storybrooke learn about science?”

“Of course” Regina said. “As soon as I got here and realized this world practiced group education that was one of the first things I researched. Other than Snow’s affinity for birdhouses Storybrooke has a cutting edge educational program. I couldn’t have my son growing up dumb.” Emma chuckled a little at that.

“Hey!” Henry exclaimed.

“Of course I’d love you even if you were dumb darling.”

“Sometimes I forget how weird you both are.” Emma said, which earned her a grimy motel pillow to the head. She assumed it was Henry but Regina looked a little too pleased with herself when Emma looked up to check for the culprit.

After some giggling Henry decided that he was going to read the bible as research on New York. Emma supposed that it couldn’t hurt. The kid was so curious and focused. He got a forehead wrinkle exactly like Regina’s when he concentrated. It didn’t take long till the kid was conked out sprawled across one of the two beds. An hour later Regina pulled Emma into the musty bathroom attached to their room where Henry wouldn't hear them so they could squabble about the sleeping arrangements.They argued for about five minutes about which of the two of them should have to try and crawl into the sliver of space next to Henry without waking him up. The bathroom was so small that the vanity was digging into Emma’s back and her and Regina were almost nose to nose. It made her head foggy. 

* * *

For all their posturing neither of them were willing to risk disturbing Henry’s sleep. That’s how Emma ended up sharing a bed with the most intriguing woman she had ever met. They lay as far apart as they could but both faced inwards. Emma’s back was almost flush with the edge of the bed. Their hands lay on the empty expanse of bed between them. They both curled in on themselves so their knees were almost touching under the thin sheets. Emma thought they must look like parenthesis like this. Regina’s back was to the window. There was a purple and blue glow from the massive billboard outside that filtered in through the slats of the blinds. It back lit Regina and danced in her dark hair.

“Are you doing okay?” Emma felt like she could only ask this question as a whisper in the dark. This moment felt three degrees south of real.

“With what part?” There was a lot to choose from, Daniel or her mother or Gold or leaving Storybrooke for the first time in 28 years.

“Whatever part you want to talk about.”

“When we get back to Storybrooke I don’t know who I want to win. They’ll be trying to kill each other without a doubt, and I can’t tell if I want them both dead or neither of them.”

“It must be hard, she’s your mother.”

“And he’s the person who saved me from my mother.” 

Emma edged her hand closer to Regina’s till their pinkies were touching. It’s casual enough that it could be an accident. “Maybe you don’t have to pick a side. Maybe we can all just stay out of it.”

“We?”

“The three of us.”

“Don’t be naive Emma, you are the saviour and I am the Evil Queen, we’ll be pulled into whatever happens next.” Her words were harsh but her voice was still soft and still said ‘Emma’ instead of Miss Swan.

“What if we stay out here? No one else can get to us here. I can make money and you wouldn’t be mayor but you’re definitely employable. There are schools out here that aren’t taught by fairytale characters.” Emma didn’t realize she had this plan until she was saying that.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I could.”

“Your parents will take a side, probably Rumplestiltskin's and you’ll have to follow suit. I don’t know what my mother has planned for me. I don’t know how much I can do against her.” Emma pushed her hand more firmly against Regina’s but didn’t hold it. She left that up to Regina. “I don’t want to let her destroy everything again.”

“You have more help this time.” Emma meant herself. She hoped Regina knew it.

“That’s what I’m afraid of. More to care about means more to lose.” It’s a horribly practical way to view love.

“Well you don’t have to worry about me. Cora tried to take my heart out but she can’t.”

A breath caught in Regina’s throat. “She can’t?” Emma shook her head.

“Good” She closed her eyes as if that was the end of the conversation but did not turn away from Emma or pull her hand back. Emma let herself look at Regina, study her relaxed expression. Just when Emma was beginning to feel herself slip into sleep she felt Regina’s hand come to rest on top of hers.

* * *

Everything ran so smoothly the next morning Emma was lured into a false sense of comfort. Gold even knew the apartment building his son was living in. She rang the only buzzer without a name on it and told him she was delivering a package. This was easy shit. She became convinced that her deal with Gold would be done soon. Everything would be okay. The asshole fled down the side fire escape. Gold shouted for her to run after but it was no big deal. She’d dealt with runners before. She caught the asshole around the back of the building and in an instant the ground dropped out from under her. This was just her fucking luck. If she could go back 24 hours she would break her deal with Gold and bare the consequences. Anything would be better than this.

“Neal?” 


	8. Family Ties (Regina)

Emma was gone for too long. The three of them stood there in tense silence. She tried to come up with something to say to Henry, anything really but found herself oddly unwilling to speak in front of Gold. Henry was starting to fidget. Her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Regina, don’t react to this, and don’t tell them it’s me.” It was Emma. She sounded breathless and distressed.

“Okay.” She said cautiously.

“I... I found Gold’s son. He’s Henry’s biological father.” Regina swallowed all the reactions that were threatening to burst out of her. If Emma didn’t want Gold and Henry to know this conversation was happening she had a reason for it.

A soft “oh.” Was all Regina could manage without giving away her hand. Really she was reeling. She could just see this man swooping in and taking Henry from her, Henry and Emma. He could slot right into the missing role, make a perfect family. Rage started to boil deep in Regina’s core. “Why are you calling me?”

“I just didn’t know who else to call. He’s offering to disappear. I can say I didn’t catch him and then I’ll never have to see him again.” The waver in Emma’s voice suggested that this was what she’d prefer.

“Is that what you think is best?”

“I want to protect Henry from him. He’s not a good guy. But I’m worried I’m being selfish.” 

“Hey.” She tried to think of what she could say that didn’t give away too much and would still communicate what she wanted to say. “I trust your judgement on this. You’ll do what’s best for all parties involved, including yourself.” She needed Emma to know this was about her too, not just Henry.

“Okay. Thank you.” Emma hung up abruptly. 

“Who was that?” Henry asked.

“David. They were trying to call Emma but she wasn’t picking up.” It was not the worst lie. Regina couldn’t for the life of her think of who else would call her.

“Why was he calling?” Gold said. Regina avoided his piercing gaze. 

“My mother got into Storybrooke. She’s causing havoc.” It was a sort of truth. Emma had informed the Charmings about Cora on their way out of town, but Henry and Gold hadn’t heard yet. It was a probable reason for a phone call. Gold blanched at the news and Regina felt some satisfaction that her mother caused such a reaction.

* * *

When Emma came back into view she looked frazzled. “I lost him.” She said, running her fingers through her rumbled hair. Regina could catch a hint of redness around her eyes.

“That is unacceptable. Your debt is not paid till I have spoken to my son.”

“I don’t know what you want from me. He got away.” Emma snapped.

“We’re checking his apartment.”

“That’s insane, I’m not breaking and entering with the kid.” Emma cried. Gold of course paid her no mind as he started prying the door open with his stupid cane. “Hey stop it.” It was too late. The door gave way with a sharp cracking sound. And they were all inside a messy apartment. Gold was rifling about with intention, looking through papers and pictures. Emma on the other hand looked like she was in a trance. Her gaze stopped on a hanging dream-catcher. Regina brushed by her closely, letting her hand touch Emma, hoping she could feel the support she was projecting. 

Gold turned to where Emma was standing “What’s happening here?” Emma looked away from the awful dreamcatcher and at Gold. “You’re lying to me.” Regina tucked Henry behind her as she felt Gold’s rage build.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Emma’s face was a mask of indifference.

The busted front door swung open and a man entered the room. Regina could see so much of Henry in him it made her sick. His hair, his cheeks, his eyes. “Before you say anything, I didn’t come back here to talk to you. I only came back so she wouldn’t be punished by breaking one of your awful deals.” The man looked dead at his father but guestered at Emma as he spoke.

Gold zeroed on his previous suspicion. “And why should you care about  _ her.”  _ Regina wanted to scream. 

“What’s going on?” Henry demanded. The man looked at Henry and then at Emma and his eyes bugged out. Gold made the connection at the exact same time.

“Emma how old is that kid?” The man looked sick.

“Mom what’s happening?” Henry was looking up at Emma. The man put a hand to his mouth. He looked horrified. Regina wanted to hit him. 

“Henry, this is Neal. We knew each other a long time ago. He is also your biological father.” 

“You said my dad was dead!” Henry shouted. Regina knew that look. He took off towards the fire escape. Regina went after him but Emma was closer and got there first. Leave the father and son to work out their issues inside the apartment. Henry was hysterical by the time Regina got out onto the fire escape. “How could you lie to me! You’re just like her! All you guys do is lie.”

Emma looked so crushed, and it wasn’t fair. Regina knew the comparison to herself wasn’t fair for Emma either. “Henry you know it’s not the same.” Regina was as surprised as Henry and Emma by her interruption. “I lied because I selfish and stupid and I did bad things. Emma lied because she genuinely thought it was best for you wellbeing. She had no experience with motherhood at the time and she was trying her best.” It was like vomit, she couldn’t stop it. It effectively derailed Henry though. His face was still red with anger but he had stopped shouting.

“I want to meet my dad.”

“And no one is going to stop you.” Regina knew better now. “But we are your mothers and we do not know this man so we are going to be careful.”

* * *

They returned to the motel after negotiations. Neal was unwilling to look at Gold. Emma wouldn’t look at Neal, but Henry was mad at Emma. The whole situation was unproductive and Regina had found herself bafflingly stuck in the middle, with no one particularly angry at her, sorting out logistics for Neal and Henry to spend time together tomorrow. She tried to treat the situation like a very tense business agreement. When Neal tried to appeal to Emma, Regina snapped him back into line.

Now Henry was sulking on his bed and Emma had locked herself in the bathroom. Regina wasn’t sure if she was equipped to handle either situation. “Henry can you stay here while I go get food?” He nodded gamely, barely looking up from his strange bible study. “Henry, don’t leave this room. Don’t open the door for anyone, especially not Mr Gold.”

“Okay mom.” 

She was a little proud of herself for braving the streets of New York by herself. The other people were pushy but mostly ignored her and eventually Regina found a place that advertised burgers on a bright neon sign. Finding the motel again was also relatively easy. Henry seemed pleased with the food she got him, but Emma was still in the bathroom.

“Emma” she knocked firmly. “I got food. Can you let me in?”

“Are you going to make me eat a salad?” Emma asked through the door.

“I got you a cheeseburger and it’s getting soggy while you sulk.” Emma unlocked and cracked the door. Regina rolled her eyes and pushed the door the rest of the way open to get into the bathroom with the bag of takeout. She closed the door behind her and started doling out the food.

“Are you eating a cheeseburger too, Your Majesty?” Emma asked. She was aiming for a playful tone but it fell a little short. She was upset. 

“They didn’t have a wide menu.” Regina sniffed as she started dissecting her own burger with as much dignity as a person can have while eating on a dirty bathroom floor. Emma settled herself down on the closed toilet and started eating her burger. “Are you okay?” 

“I'm doing just swell.” Emma said, taking another bite. This was so obviously a lie but Regina didn’t really know where to go from here. “That asshole said I kept the keychain he gave me cause I still have feelings for him.” Emma dropped her half eaten burger onto the wrapper in her lap, pulled the necklace she was wearing off, and threw it onto the ground next to Regina. It was just some cheap metal thing. “But he kept the fucking dreamcatcher, so I don’t know what that means.”

“I’m sorry.” Was really all Regina could offer. “I’m sorry you have to see him again, and I’m sorry about Henry.”

“I only kept it cause it was the first thing anyone ever gave me. I only kept it to remind me not to be so stupid again.” Emma’s voice cracked. Regina put her hand on Emma’s knee. 

“You weren’t stupid to trust him. You were just eighteen.” If Regina knew anything she knew the foolish optimism of an eighteen year old in love.

“I should’ve known better. He said that he let me take the fall for him because August told him it was my fate. Something about being the Saviour meant I couldn’t be happy and go to Tallahassee.” Regina was overwhelmed by the unfairness of Emma’s life. The unfairness she caused. “It’s not like he could go against fate or anything.”

“He should've,” Regina insisted firmly. Emma was worth it. Emma should have someone who loves her enough to go against fate.

“Yeah.” Emma swiped at the tears in her eyes. “Yeah you’re right, he should’ve. I’m going to flush the fucking keychain down the toilet.”

“You don’t have to get rid of it to prove something.” Emma stopped and stared at Regina for a little longer than Regina was comfortable with. Regina took the time to return Emma’s gaze. She noticed the dark circles around red ringed eyes and remembered all the different kinds of whiplash Emma’s life had gone through in the past month. She never would have imagined feeling this sort of sympathy for the Saviour.

“Thanks.” Emma’s smile was a little weak but still there. “I’m still flushing it down the toilet, cause it’s ugly and stupid and I don’t want it. I’m keeping the bug though. I love that car.” 

* * *

That night they slept with less space between then than they had the night before. Last night the middle of the bed had felt like a chasm that only Emma was brave enough to cross. Now they slept close enough that Regina could hear Emma’s breath, still not touching, still facing each other. 

* * *

With Emma mad at Neal and Henry mad at Emma and Neal mad at Gold, it was Regina who ended up chaperoning the play date between Henry and his birth father. They met at a neutral location, a public park, and Regina set herself up a respectable distance away. She tried as best as she could to choke down her feelings of jealousy. The last thing she needed to do right now was give Henry a reason to be more angry with her. Maybe the fact that Emma seemed to hate Neal so much helped to temper her jealous. The three of them couldn’t become the perfect nuclear family, excluding Regina, if Emma wanted nothing to do with him. The keychain had made an awful sound going down the toilet pipes, but it had been worth it for Emma’s look of satisfaction.

She kept a close eye on them from afar. She had always liked that Henry had dark and eyes. It made him bare a passing resemblance to her, to the untrained eye. Seeing those features echoed in this man made her feel something ugly. “Um excuse me?” She looked up at the deplorable man who was speaking to her.

She leveled him with an even glare. “Would you like something?”

She was pleased when he squirmed a little. “I was just wondering if Em-”

“I believe this rendez-vous was arranged so you could meet Henry.” She cut off the question before it could even be asked. “It would be wholly inappropriate for me to discuss Miss Swan with you in any capacity.”

“Come on, we have a kid together. She can’t just ignore me.”

“ _ You  _ do not have a kid with anybody” Regina seethed. “Emma and I are Henry’s mothers and  _ I  _ have sole legal custody of him. You are being allowed to meet him purely by my own graces, so I suggest you not waste your time.”

“I don’t know what problem you have with me-”

“How old are you Baelfire?” She chose his Enchanted Forest name purely out of spite. 

“That’s not my name.”

“Because I know the Enchanted Forest didn’t have an excellent math curriculum but I’m learning. If my math is correct Emma was seventeen eleven years ago.”

“It wasn’t like that we were in love.”

“I’m sure.” Regina scathed. “So in love you got her sent to jail. You’ll find if you do not leave Miss Swan alone my patience for your presence will disappear quite quickly.” He started to back off thankfully. Another thought occurred to Regina just then. “Everything your father ever did to me was to get back to you. You don’t seem worth it.” She didn’t mean to say the thought out loud but it seemed to shake him as much as everything else she’d said. He went back to Henry after that.

* * *

Emma and Gold met them at the park a few hours later, Emma to pick up Henry and Regina, Gold to try and convince his estranged son to speak to him. Baelfire lingered an awkward distance away, no doubt weighing his hatred of Gold with his desire to talk to Emma. 

“How is everyone?” Emma asked. Her voice is a little pitched.

“Fine.” Henry said.

“Everything went well. Baelfire and I had a chat.” Emma snickered a little at the name Baelfire.

Regina smiled. It was only a little forced. “How was your afternoon?”

“Gold tried to have a heart-to-heart with me.” Emma whispered, shooting a glance at Gold who was seeming more and more pathetic the longer he spent away from magic. 

“That sounds terrible.” Regina stage whispered back.

“What did you talk to Neal about?”

As proud as she had been in the moment Regina was not particularly eager to admit that she had intimidated Emma’s ex-boyfriend. A shout interrupted them.

“Crocodile!” 

“Killian?” Neal shouted. Hook had grabbed Gold by the shoulder, appearing out of nowhere and swinging his hook. Everything that happened next happened too quickly for Regina to move. Before she knew it Hook had plunged his hook in Gold’s chest and Emma punched him out cold.

The four of them crowded around Gold’s prone figure. Regina recognized the scent and texture of the substance around the stab wound immediately. “It’s poison. Don’t touch it.” She slapped Baelfire’s hand away. “There’s no medical cure for this.”

Gold curled his lip at her “And aren’t you glad you-”

“Is there a magical cure?” Henry interrupted. His eyes were bright and worried and Regina supposed it wouldn’t be good for his development to watch an old man die.

“Maybe” she conceded. 

“Can we get back to Storybrooke?” They couldn’t take a bleeding man on a plane and the drive would take hours. It would be too late.

“Killian would have come here on the Jolly Roger.” Baelfire interrupts. “I know how to sail it.”

“What?” Emma snapped. It was baffling how he knew this. As far as they knew Hook had not been in this realm until a week or so ago. 

“Come on. We have to get to the harbour.” He insisted. “My fiancée's car is just around the corner.” 

“What?” Emma snapped again.

* * *

The ship was a blur. Baelfire really did know how to sail it. He was stoic and professional. Emma took orders from him surprisingly well and the pair operated the massive ship with ease. Gold was deteriorating quickly and spitting vitriol at Regina all the way. She wanted nothing more than to let him die but the way Henry was looking at her gave her pause, like he believed in her. Once he turned to her and asked if Baelfire being his father made Gold his grandfather.

Regina felt sick at the idea. She hated the thought of that man being part of her baby boy’s family. He wasn’t his grandfather anymore than Cora was his grandmother. They would never do anything but use him, or harm him. Henry insisted that they had to save him anyways, that good people save other people, no matter what. He also said that it wasn’t fair to ‘Neal’ for his dad to die right now, before they made up. Regina herself was more concerned about what might happen if the Dark One died in a realm without magic, with no one to claim the darkness for themselves. 

Rumple had always been secretive about the rules behind his own magic, but Regina had of course done research. She was not confident about what would happen if he died right now. She also wasn’t confident about where the dagger was. She’d have to start work on finding a cure as soon as they docked. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t after all.

* * *

When the ship docked Regina was first off. “You need to take Henry somewhere safe. Leave him with your parents or the wolves, or stay with him at my house.” She explained it to Emma in a tone that begged no disagreement. “I’m going to my vault to start to find an antidote. If Gold dies I don’t know what will happen with his magic. It could be dangerous.” She firmly grabbed Emma’s upper arm. She needed Emma to understand how serious she was. “You have to be ready to take Henry and run if something happens.”

“Regina this is nuts.” Regina didn’t want to look into Emma’s eyes. She knew this was the appropriate course of action. 

“Better the devil we know” Regina repeated the thing she’d been trying to tell herself. “I don’t know what his untethered magic would do. Promise me if bad things start to happen you’ll take Henry back over the town line?” 

“Regina we’ll come and get you first.”

“Only if it’s safe” Regina insisted. She thought of Emma’s proposal to her, that they just leave, and wanted it so bad it hurt. 

“Please-” Emma whispered.

“Miss Swan.”

“Just be safe okay?” Her eyes were watery and Regina never wanted to see that look again. 

“I’ll try. Keep Henry safe.” She knelt down to address her son. “I know you’re upset at Emma right now, but you have to do exactly as she says. Just until we’re sure everything is okay.”

He nodded solemnly. “Mom, are you going to be okay?”

“Of course Darling. I just have to find something to help Mr Gold. Okay?” She cradled his face in her hands, just like she always used to.

“Okay. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thank you sweetheart.” She pressed a nervous kiss to his forehead. They were all shaking. She didn’t know why. She just had to find a cure and everything would be fine. 

She stood again and Emma threw her arms around her. As impulsive as it was brief, she pulled back quickly. 

* * *

Regina’s vault was turned over when she arrived, and it took her too long to remember why. Her mother was lurking about somewhere. She thought immediately of Emma and Henry. What if Cora went after them? She pushed the thought down and started pulling out books on poisons. This was the task she needed to complete. Emma would keep Henry safe. They would be fine. Each book that proved useless to her was thrown across the vault. It was a childish but satisfying method of organization. Her heart rate increased with every fruitless search. 

Footsteps pulled her out of her deep focus. It was Snow White, in her vault. Regina was taken aback but not shocked to see her. After the events of the past 48 hours, this might as well happen. “What are you doing?” Snow looked haggard. Regina didn’t even have the spare thoughts to take pleasure in that.

“Your mother got up to a lot while you were gone.” Snow’s voice didn’t sound right either.

“Yes, she tends to do that.” Regina spared another glance at Snow and noticed what was in her hands. She recognized that box. She knew what was inside. “Why do you have that?” Her tone sharpened and she prepared to have to fight Snow again.

“I was going to give it to you. She can’t love you, you know? She doesn’t have her heart.” Regina had always suspected but never confirmed this fact. “With it maybe she can.”

“You’re doing this for me?” 

“Think about what would happen if Cora had her heart back, back inside her?” 

“She told me she took her heart out to protect herself.” Regina had repeated this to herself many times before. It was effortless to say it to Snow. Cora couldn’t have left her heart inside of her.

“If she can’t love, she can’t love you. She has Gold’s dagger Regina. She’s probably headed to the Jolly Roger as we speak. Once she takes the darkness it’ll be too late.” Regina shivered at the thought. Cora as the Dark One was perhaps the only thing more frightening than Rumplestilskin as the Dark One. “This could stop her. She could be your mother, but now she’d really love you, real love Regina.” It couldn’t be that simple. It couldn’t be that easy. “Or she could be the Dark One, it’s your choice.” Snow offered her Cora’s heart. Could this work?

* * *

She teleported directly into the bowels of the ship. She could hear Cora’s smooth voice coming out of Gold’s room. She was nearly too late. “You were the only man I ever truly loved. You were my weakness” Cora said. Regina peered around the doorway and saw her mother with Rumplestiltskin’s dagger raised over his prone figure. She had to stop this right now. She took three quick steps and pushed Cora’s heart in through her back. She felt the warmth of it in her hand for a split second before it slotted into space with a sick squelching sound. Cora stumbled and turned and saw her.

She clutched her chest but her eyes lit up in a way Regina had never seen in all her years of living. Regina felt something traitorous take root in her own chest, something like hope. She dropped the dagger to the ground and a great smile broke out over her face. It was unrestrained and went all the way up to her eyes. Cora had always frowned upon smiles like that. They created wrinkles and were undignified, yet here she was smiling at Regina. 

“Mother?” She couldn’t help but smile back. Her mother let out a small laugh as decades of emotions washed over her. For an instant Regina’s mind ran wild with possibilities. And then she frowned and stumbled. “Mother?” Regina was less sure this time. Cora moved the lapel of her coat. A wound had appeared on her chest, deep and ugly, a direct mirror of the one Gold had had moments before. Her knees buckled. Regina caught her on her way to the ground and ended up kneeling with her mother cradled in her arms. “Mother?” It was all she could say. Why couldn’t she get out any more meaningful words. Why hadn’t she found an antidote yet. She pulled her mother closer to her but her eyes were glazing and her breathing was going raspy. A single tear made its way down her mother’s cheek. Regina had never seen her cry before.

She looked at Regina but her gaze was empty. “This... would’ve been enough.” Regina choked out a weak sob. She didn’t understand what her mother was saying. “You...would’ve been enough.” She barely got the words out before she went limp in Regina’s arms.


	9. Mom (Emma)

Emma could hear Regina before she could see her. She was sobbing, heart wrenching muffled sobs. Emma hadn’t really believed that Mary Margaret would go through with her plan until this moment. She rounded the corner and saw Regina on the ground with Gold standing over her. Emma realized now that she couldn’t give Mary Margaret the benefit of the doubt anymore. She did this.

“Your mother did you no favours” Gold was saying in a cool voice, looking down at Regina. He was holding his dagger.

“You cast some spell. You stole her life away.” Regina was speaking the words into her mother’s chest more so than at Gold.

“I did nothing.” He walked away, pushing past Emma and leaving Regina where she knelt.

Regina finally looked up in Emma’s direction. “How?” Emma dropped to her knees next to Regina and wrapped her arms around her shaking shoulders. This scene was so familiar. This time Regina let Emma hold her shaking frame and even nestled her face closer into Emma’s neck. “She did this.” Regina growled. And it made Emma’s skin crawl. She did not want this to happen. She could feel the words against her skin. She did not want Regina to start going after her mom again, she nearly wept at that thought, her mom. Why had she always thought of her as Mary Margaret until this moment, this moment that she let her down. 

“I’m sorry. Blue told her it was the only way to stop Cora. I tried to stop her. I didn’t think she’d do it. She slipped away from the loft when we were distracted.” Emma had nothing but excuses to give. She waited for Regina to turn to steel against her, or lash out, or hit, or hurt, but she just kept crying. She did not want to have to be on the wrong side of Regina again. They had been working so hard. She could see the life they could have stretched out in front of her, with a much worse possibility waiting a few degrees to the left. She tightened her hand that wrapped around Regina’s far shoulder and brought the other one to rest on the side of her head. “Does this count as a bad thing? Can we take Henry and run now?” Emma could see Regina’s grip on her mother’s body tighten. “I don’t want to be the Saviour. I don’t feel responsible for these people. I don’t want Henry growing up here. You don’t have to be here.” She said the words directly into Regina’s hair.

“Okay.” Regina said, so softly Emma thought she dreamt it. “Okay.” Regina closed her eyes and the hum of magic filled the room. Cora’s body glowed briefly then vanished. “I put her in our vault, with daddy and... And where Daniel’s body used to be.” Emma pulled her closer. 

“We have to go.” She could feel Regina nodding against her.

“Henry.” Regina said.

“Yeah. We’ll get a car then we’ll get Henry then we’ll go.”

* * *

They went to Mifflin St. and the Benz. Emma thought Regina must have some affection for it, take some comfort in the familiarity. They didn’t grab anything else, just the car. Emma drove and Regina didn’t complain about it. She put the car in park but didn’t kill the engine at the loft. She left Regina sitting statue-like in the passenger side seat.

It was just David and Henry in the loft, just as she had left them. David was pacing and Henry was sitting on the couch pouring over the story book. David perked up when she walked in. “Did you find Snow?” Emma shook her head. “What about Regina, did you talk to her?”

“It was too late David.”

“Too late? Snow wouldn’t...” He didn’t finish the thought, because surely Snow wouldn’t do something so villainous.

“Henry get your stuff, we’re going.”

“What’s happening?” And she would really give anything for him to stop having to ask her that. This was too much for a kid.

“We’re leaving. Your mom said we should leave if things went wrong, we’re listening to her.”

“Is she okay?” His voice broke.

“Yeah, she’s waiting for us in the car. Go get your bag.” Thank god he hadn’t unpacked. He dropped the book on the couch and disappeared up the stairs. 

“Emma you can’t just leave.” David protested as soon as Henry was out of earshot. 

“Yes I can. Henry and I are not getting caught in the middle of something by staying in this town.”

“If you leave you're just picking Regina over us.” David protested, voice raising.

“She’s Henry’s mother.

“And Snow is yours!”

“Snow just tricked Regina into killing her own mother.” Emma could hear her voice rising. A solid thump interrupted their argument. Emma turned in horror to see Henry standing there, his small duffle bag on the floor next to him, and his eyes wide.

“Grandma did what?” Shit.

“Henry we can talk about this in the car.”

“No! We can talk about it right now.” Henry stamped his little foot. “I’m sick of you not answering my questions and lying and whispering about things when I’m gone.”

Emma knelt down in front him, the way she’d seen Regina do before. “Cora was a dangerous person. She hurt Regina a lot when Regina was younger and she did a lot of bad things while we were gone. Snow was trying to stop her from killing Mr. Gold, but she did it in a bad way.”

“She tricked mom?” His little voice wavered

“Yeah. But what’s important right now is that your mom is waiting for us downstairs.”

“Snow White is a hero though.” His voice broke. “She’s not supposed to do bad things.”

“I’m so sorry, kid. Things aren’t always that simple.” Emma wished he didn’t have to learn this lesson in this way. “We’re leaving now.” This time he listened. He picked up the bag and followed Emma out the door, leaving the story book on the couch. 

* * *

Emma drove for four and half hours before Henry started complaining about dinner, and being tired, and wanting to go to the bathroom. That was the only thing that interrupted Regina’s fugue state. She had been staring blankly out the window for every moment until then.

“We should stop at the next exit.” Her voice was raspy but it was a relief to hear. 

“Is that what you want?”

“Henry needs dinner.” She sniffed and straightened in her seat. “We should pull over when we can. We need a place that serves vegetables, he has not been eating nutritionally balanced meals recently.”

Emma could do this. If this is what Regina wanted to focus on, she could cooperate. “Come on kid why have you been eating so much junk recently?”

“Em _ ma  _ you’re the one who’s been feeding me that junk.” Henry protested.

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Hey Regina, did you realize  _ I’m  _ the one who’s been feeding Henry junk?” 

“Don’t worry Miss Swan. I remember.” Her voice was just a little too soft but Emma could see Henry’s smile in the rearview mirror. 

* * *

The diner they stopped at was clean, lit a little too brightly, and almost empty. All the other patrons looked like people who belonged in a roadside diner at night, in the middle of the week. Regina was the one who stood out here. Her clothes were a little too high end and her posture was a little too straight. She tried to order only a black coffee when the waitress came around but Emma ordered all three of them different sandwiches. Lettuce counts as a vegetable. 

* * *

Regina took a shower in their dingy motel room. It was then that Emma realized neither of them had any clothes. Henry had grabbed his bag but Emma left hers at the loft and Regina's was probably still on board the Jolly Roger. 

“Hey kid, can I see what clothes you have packed?”

“Mom packed it, before we went to New York.” He hauled the duffle bag up onto his bed. Emma rifled through the clothes in silence for a couple of moments before Henry spoke again. “I don’t know what to do before bed now. I used to always read until I got tired.”

“Did you not have any books packed in your bag?”

“No. I usually only read the story book.” She had to buy the kid more books, different books. Regina probably knew which books a ten year old should be reading. She had probably done a bunch of research about it. She needed books for Henry and clothes for Regina and a place they all could stay that wasn’t a motel. “Can you tuck me in?”

“Well you gotta lie down if you want me to tuck you in.” She scooped up the contents of Henry’s bag and moved them to the floor.

“Emma! You’re making a mess!”

“I promise I’ll fold everything back up in the morning.” Like mother, like son. Emma wasn’t sure if she could survive living with two neat freaks. “Focus kid, we’re sleeping now.”

He scowled and laid under the covers. Emma pulled the oversheet up to his chin and ran her hands over the covers like she always imagined mothers did. “Is she okay?” Henry asked in a small voice. The sounds of the shower had stopped a while ago but Regina was still in the bathroom.

“Yeah I’m sure she’s going to be okay. We might not go back to Storybrooke for a long time though. Is that okay with you?”

“I think so. Mom can’t do her magic here.”

“I think she’ll agree with me that that’s not what’s important. Out here you could go to a new school where no one knows you, and no one thinks your mom is evil, and all the kids age at the same rate you do.”

“I could make friends?” 

“Yeah, tons.” 

“What about my dad? He’s still in Storybrooke.”

Emma sighed. “Yeah but he lives in New York, and so does his fiancée. He’ll leave Storybrooke soon and then you can get back to getting to know him.”

* * *

Emma grabbed a pair of comfortable looking pants with an elastic waistband out of Henry's pile of clothes. They’d fit Regina like capris but at their loosest it looked like the tie-up waistband would fit. Emma also took off her T-shirt, leaving her tank top on. “Hey Regina. I have pajamas.” 

When Regina emerged Emma couldn’t help but snicker. The pants were tight to her thighs and ended just past her knees. “This shirt smells awful Miss Swan.”

“Sorry Your Majesty, I sailed a ship in it this morning. Didn’t have time for a load of wash.”

Regina rolled her eyes and turned to say goodnight to Henry. Later they lay in bed, Regina turned her back to Emma this time. Emma could see her shoulders shake but Regina didn’t make a sound. Emma reached out and put a hand on Regina’s back. She didn’t pull away and didn’t lean in. “I’m sorry.” Emma whispered.

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” Regina replied. Emma could hear the swallowed sobs between her words. 

“I’m sorry we went back at all.” 

“We had to.”

“I’m sorry anyways.” Emma moved closer. “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” Regina turned to face her. There were inches between them now. Regina took the final step to close distance and leaned into Emma. Emma wrapped an arm around her. “Is this okay?” Regina asked, her hot breath tickling Emma’s neck.

“Yeah.” Emma replied. “This is okay.” She held Regina as close as she could until sleep took her.

* * *

Neal ended up being their saving grace. He realized they had left the next morning when he went looking for them. Emma took the very angry phone call for Henry’s sake alone. They met him at his apartment later that afternoon. He flew out from Maine, and they left from their motel in Connecticut. He had the folder with Henry and Regina’s important papers - per Regina’s careful instructions - and a set of apartment keys that he offered them. “I know my dad messed up the door, but I can call my super and get it fixed. I’m going to stay with Tamara for awhile. You guys can stay here until you find your own place.”

“Why would you do this for us?” Regina was cold and suspicious.

“It’s reparations.” He said, glancing at Emma and then looking at his feet.

“We’ll take it.” Emma snatched the keys from him. New York was expensive and apartment searching was brutal. 

“It only has one bedroom.”

“We’ll manage.”

“Henry can stay with me.”

“If you expect me to entrust you with my child in return for this you can keep your disgusting apartment.” Regina hissed. Emma made no movement to hand the keys back.

“It’s just don’t kids need consistency? Tamara has two bedrooms, he could have his own space.”  
“Like you would know anything about what kids need.” Emma scoffed. “It’s laughable that you think that he’d be better off with a man he just met and his girlfriend.”

“It’s February, shouldn’t he be in school?” 

“Yeah, and he will be. We just need to...” Emma looked at Regina for support “register him?”

“Yes,” Regina cut in. “As soon as we know which school district we will be living in, Henry will be registered to an appropriate school.” Thank god Regina seemed to know how this worked, cause Emma certainly didn’t.

* * *

Henry got the one bedroom. It wasn’t the most efficient use of space but it was the only arrangement Regina would consider. Regina claimed a loveseat that fit her when she curled her knees inwards and left the full sized couch for Emma. Emma had done some emergency shopping for clothes and toiletries, but Regina still wore Emma’s white T-shirt. She conceded to the cheap wal-mart sweatpants Emma bought and gratefully accepted the clean underwear. Emma pretended she hadn’t paced for ten minutes trying to decide what underwear would be the most purposefully neutral, and appropriate thing to buy Regina.

Emma had also bought groceries. She had limited cooking experience and even more limited experience cooking for three people. Regina eyed most of the groceries with disdain. Emma left Regina staring blankly at the food for about twenty minutes before she returned to usher Regina out of the kitchen. “It’s okay. You don’t have to cook right now. Neither of us are expecting that. Look, I just have to put these things in the oven,” She picked up the packages of frozen chicken to show her. “I can handle putting things in the oven. I even bought salad ingredients.” Regina’s hands were still hovering like she intended to start cooking but couldn’t bring herself to do so. Emma grabbed one of Regina’s hands in hers. “Go sit with Henry. I bought him a new book.” She went with the first Harry Potter. She never read them herself, she never got a chance to read much of anything as a foster kid, but she always heard about them. Henry read with his head in Regina’s lap. She still had her thousand mile stare on, but she stroked his hair and made noises of vague interest when he recounted the plot of the book to her. 

* * *

After Henry went to bed the two of them sat next to each other on the full sized couch. “I’m so angry.” Regina said after a long heavy silence. How could she not be? “I don’t want to be this angry.”

“I don’t think you can help it right now. What happened... what she did, was awful. Anyone would be angry.” Emma realized she couldn’t refer to Mary Margaret directly, it stung too much.

“I don’t do the right things when I’m angry. I don’t want to do anything that would hurt her because it would hurt Henry, and you. I’m so angry though.” Emma could cry from relief. Regina going after Mary Margaret was just about her worst nightmare. She was speaking through gritted teeth. Emma could see the tension in her shoulders. “I just want to be good.”

“Hey” Emma whispered. “Take it from the shittiest hero around, you’re doing well. I’m angry all the time. Sometimes I’m angry when it’s not fair. Sometimes I’m angry for no reason. Henry doesn’t need you to be perfect, he can’t read your thoughts. It’s enough that you’re here and you’re trying.”

“Are you sure it’s enough?” Regina looked at her with piercing eyes.

Emma wanted to say ‘it’s enough for me’ but instead she just said “Yeah, I’m sure.”


	10. We Could Be Family (Regina)

The first week in Baelfire’s apartment was somehow the best and worst times of Regina’s life. Emma got back into bounty hunting fairly easily and was gone for pretty large portions of the day. She always came back with something for either Regina or Henry. She brought back a different book for Henry every day and he devoured them at a frightening pace. She also seemed to take Regina’s lack of clothes as a problem she had to personally solve. It was baffling behaviour, but aside from the disastrous haul Emma brough home on their first day, Regina was impressed by Emma’s taste. Every item of clothing she brought home was more casual than anything Regina had worn in Storybrooke, but every piece featured clean lines and simple dark colours, nothing like anything Emma wore.

* * *

When she slept she dreamt of Cora and Snow White in rotation. Some nights Snow White was a child crying at her feet, others she held Cora or Daniel’s heart in her hand and dared Regina to take them back. On the worst nights Snow was dead and Regina laughed until the sound of Emma crying woke her up. Emma’s cries rang in her ears for hours afterwards. Dreaming of Cora was worse still. She was always just standing there smiling, as she had in the moments before her death. It was these dreams that she woke up from with a start. Emma would reliably be crouching next to her and stroking her hair. “You were crying.” She whispered on the first night this happened. Regina accepted that their moments of intimacy happened under the cover of night. That night they had fallen back asleep leaning against each other on the full sized couch. 

* * *

Regina spent most of her time looking into two bedroom apartments. She researched school districts and neighbourhood crime rates and compiled a longer and longer list of potential apartments. She relished the moments she got to spend with Henry, and the dinners that the three of them shared.

Emma got home at four on their seventh day in New York. Regina was sitting on the Loveseat with her masterlist of apartment options open. “Hey, are there any winners there?”

Regina smiled warmly at her “Yes, come see.” Regina pulled up her three favourite options and launched into her explanations on balancing price of rent with the benefits of the apartment.

“These are all two bedrooms.”

“Yes?”

“I kind of thought we’d be looking at three bedroom places.” Did Emma think they were all going to live together?

“Well we can’t couldn’t afford a three bedroom. I built myself a healthy savings account into the curse, but I haven’t figured out what jobs in this world I’d be qualified for yet. It might take me a little bit to get into the job market and start contributing.” She had been researching that too. She technically had impressive job experience but she had no formal education in this world which seemed to be a prerequisite.

“So are we going to share a bedroom or something?” She didn’t seem horrified at the idea. Regina hadn’t imagined that Emma would want to share an apartment with her at all.

“I was looking for pairs of apartments that were close together. So we wouldn’t be too far apart.”

“Oh.” Emma got up off the arm of the sofa she was perched on. “Okay.” She started the walk toward the bathroom. “I just need to-”

“Emma come back here.” Regina pleaded.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t know why I thought we’d live together. I didn’t even ask, I just assumed.”

“Emma” she couldn’t stop the tenderness from entering her voice.

“I can’t afford a two bedroom apartment by myself. I don’t have savings, and when you get a job you’re going to be making a lot more money than me. I don’t have qualifications.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to live with me. I’ve just been a burden on you since we got here.” All Regina has done in their week in New York is cry and be comforted by Emma.

“Please! If anyone is the burden it’s me. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to parent Henry. I don’t know how to cook. I don’t even make that much money. I just run away to work all day and then buy you guys things I think you’ll like, like some sort of emotionally absent dad.”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of that. “Emma you’ve been so wonderful.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “Really?”

“Yes. I really would love to live with you, if you’d have me.”

“Me too... That is, I’d like to live with you if you’d have me.”

Regina couldn’t stop smiling. “Yes Miss Swan. I would like to live with you.”

“Good.” Emma said, finally smiling back at her.

“Good.” Regina echoed. 

“But if we can’t afford a three bedroom, what do we do? Share a room like we’re in a college dorm?” Emma asked

“I’ve never been to college.”

“Me neither. But I shared a room in prison. And honestly in most of my foster homes.”

“Well I think I can be a better roommate than the woman you shared a cell with in prison.”

“I don’t know Cindy didn’t mind if I left my clothes on the floor.”

“Is that the standard? I have to let you be a slob in our shared living space?”

“And, I was pregnant at the time so when I got really huge some of the women gave me special treatment.”

“Alright Miss Swan. If you get pregnant while we are sharing a room I will give you plenty of special treatment.”

“Deal.”

* * *

They settle on an apartment three days later. Moving is not difficult because they have about two bags of possessions between them. Regina sprung for a fancy packing and moving service because in her view it was either that or replace every item. They were carefully instructed on how to pack up most of Henry’s room, a large portion of Regina’s kitchen, and about half of her wardrobe. Most of Regina’s personal furniture didn’t feel right to bring here. Much of it was too big to fit in New York apartments and the whole house had been perfectly engineered to be as intimidating and unwelcoming as possible. Regina had different goals now.

It gave Regina something else to do. Henry was in school again, trying to catch up mid semester. Emma showed her websites and places where she could find furniture for cheap. It came naturally to Regina to find a small dining room table that fit in their apartment and two couches and a coffee table and a rug. She hesitated on the room she shared with Emma. She didn’t know what was appropriate. Should just just find two single beds? What grown women sleep on single beds. She found a long, low dresser that they split down the middle. For now they were sleeping on a collection of couch cushions in the middle of their almost empty bedroom. At the start of each night the cushions were arranged into an approximation of two beds. Inevitably, when Regina’s nightmares woke them both they ended the night wrapped together. Sometimes even when they both slept through the night they woke up much closer together than they had fallen asleep. Single beds removed all possibility for closeness.

* * *

Henry insisted on having a party when the apartment was furnished. The only people they knew were Baelfire and his fiancée. Baelfire’s presence has been shockingly tolerable. He didn’t push himself on Emma, instead dropping by the apartment while she was gone, or inviting Henry over to spend time at Tamara’s apartment. Regina still supervised most of their visits. This meant she couldn’t avoid interacting with Baelfire and meeting Tamara. She was pretty and seemed smart and Regina couldn't help but wonder how Baelfire managed to pull women so far out of his league. 

That’s how she ended up with Baelfire looking over her shoulder as she cooked. “Can I help you?”

“Is Emma going to be here?” He asked. Regina huffed at the question.

“Yes of course, she lives here. She might be getting back from work a little late.” Emma had agreed to this dinner because Henry wanted it so badly, but she was clearly uncomfortable. Her showing up late had been Regina’s idea, but she had jumped on it. Regina had learned to tolerate Bealfire’s presence and was happy to host on her own if it spared Emma.

“Work.”

“Yes.” It wasn’t really a question.

“I feel kind of dense.”  
“Don’t worry, you are.” Regina replied smoothly. She continues to slice garlic, not turning her attention away from her task. 

He chuckled. “I mean I feel dense that I didn’t realize you and Emma were like together.”

Regina’s hand faltered and she sliced through her thumb. “Shit.”

“Shit” Baelfire echoed jumping back. 

Regina cradled her bleeding hand. Baelfire reached out like he was planning on stopping the blood with his bare hands. “Don’t touch me.” Regina snapped. He withdrew.

Tamara and Henry rushed over from where they had been chatting on the couch. “Ew.” Henry remarked.

“Thank you for your input Darling” Regina drawled sarcastically. “Can please go get me a band aid?” He smiled at her tone in the exact same way Emma did when she was on the receiving end, and rushed off to the bathroom. Tamara, the sensible woman she was, took over Regina’s chopping. The garlic had to go in the pan soon for everything to finish on time. 

Henry returned with a band aid and a handful of gauze pads. “Do you need help?”

“No thank you, I have a perfectly fine second hand I can use.” Henry turned over the first aid supplies and rolled his eyes at her. Emma was a terrible influence on him really. She was really going to be stuck getting sassed every day for the rest of her life. Regina smiled at the thought.

Emma came home just then to Tamara cooking, Regina bleeding and Baelfire still hovering weirdly. “Em!” he exclaimed.

She frowned and surveyed the situation. “Neal.” she said curtly. She walked over to where Regina was standing and took the bloody gauze out of her hand to expose the cut. “What did you do?” She said with unmistakable fondness. 

“If you ever cooked maybe you’d get knife wounds sometimes.”

“You don’t want me to cook and you know it.” It was true. Regina didn’t trust Emma to be anywhere near her kitchen. Emma barely broke eye contact or stopped smiling and she rinsed the blood off Regina’s hand and applied the band aid. Regina couldn’t bring herself to object to what was happening. She just blushed under Emma’s attention. 

“Do you want me to add the garlic in?” Tamara called. 

“Yes please.” Regina smiled at Tamara.

“Hi.” Emma turned her attention towards Tamara. “Tamara. I guess this is the first time we’re officially meeting.”

“Hi, thanks for having us over.” Tamara was as gracious as ever. 

“Yeah, the kid wanted to host a dinner party. Thanks for coming. I can't imagine hanging out with your fiancé's baby mama was ever high on your to do list.” Emma’s tone was blasé but her body was tense.

“Emma.” Regina scolded. 

Baelfire looked like a deer caught in the headlights but Tamara just chuckled. “The news was an adjustment for sure. But I don’t have to tell you that Henry is just the most charming kid, and Regina is... You certainly have a wonderful little family Emma.”

Tamara seemed to be under the same impression as Baelfire. Regina looked down at her hand pretending to examine Emma’s first aid job. She felt Emma’s gaze on her. “Yeah, I do.” Emma said in agreement.

“Dinner!” Regina exclaimed. “Henry, Baelfire, make yourself useful, come set the table.”

* * *

Dinner conversation was mostly monopolized by Henry. He had four adults eager to hear about his school and the people he was meeting and the books he was reading. The traumas of Storybrooke seemed to fade a little more every day. Perhaps the next time they had guests over they would be Henry’s friends, his own age. Regina was struck by her own selfishness, not for the first time. This is what Henry always deserved. She was wrong to ever try to keep him all to herself. No matter how genuinely she loved him, that never would’ve been enough by itself.

She tuned back into conversation just in time to hear Emma say “We’re almost done furnishing. We just need a bed, we’re still sleeping on couch cushions.”

“Oh no, that must be murder on your poor backs.” Tamara said.

Emma shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places.”

“A friend of mine is moving to San Fran and trying to sleep off all her furniture. She has a queen bed. I could give you her number.”

“Oh that’d be great.” Regina almost fell out of her chair.

* * *

When they were alone in their room again Regina broached the topic, “Queen bed?”

“I know, I’m sorry” Emma whined. “They just seemed to think we were together and it was just so much easier to let them keep thinking that. It’s not like we actually have to call Tamara’s friend.” 

“I had my heart set on bunk beds.” Regina deadpanned. 

“Shut up.” Emma smiled at her. “I’ll miss this though.”

“Miss what?”

“Being next to you. If we get bunk beds or two singles, I’ll miss sleeping next to you.”

“Me too. It helps, when I wake up in the middle of the night.” They had never talked about this before.

“Regina Mills, are you a closet cuddler?”

“Miss Swan?”

“Yes?”

“Watch yourself.” Emma grinned at the challenge and rolled over to spoon Regina. Regina mock struggled for a second before relaxing into her embrace. “You know, we’re adults and no one can tell us what to do.”

“That’s true.” Regina conceded.

“So if we wanted to call Tamara’s friend we could.”

“Isn’t that a little weird?”

“Aren’t most things about this situation a little weird?” Yes of course was the answer. “If we don’t like it or if I kick you too much we can get rid of it and get singles.”

“Okay.” Regina agreed. Something fluttered in her stomach.

When she inevitably woke up in tears that night she was already in Emma’s arms. Emma was groggy and barely awake but she buried her face in Regina’s hair and mumbled something unintelligible. Regina took a deep breath and was asleep again soon. 

* * *

The next day was a Saturday. Regina walked to the grocery store early in the day, while Emma was still half asleep. It was brisk but sunny. Regina could feel spring breaking in the air. She walked back with a tote bag slug over each shoulder. As she approached their building she could see Emma and Henry waiting on the opposite sidewalk. Henry was chattering away but Emma had looked up and spotted her. Her hair shone gold in the sunlight. She lifted and waved and smiled at Regina. Regina smiled back and studied the blonde as she waited for the light to change. 

A man grabbed her by the wrist. “What-” He slipped a thick leather cuff around her wrist as she struggled, hitting and pushing against his solid frame.

“Don’t fight it your majesty.”All the hope drained from Regina. 

  
  



	11. You Owe Her (Emma)

Emma brought Henry down to meet Regina. She always bought more groceries than she could carry. The elevator was broken, and their apartment was on the fifth floor. Henry was talking about Inkheart, which was unsurprisingly his favourite of all books Emma bought him. Emma saw Regina from across the street. They smiled at each other and Emma’s heart turned over. A semi passed between them and Emma lost eye contact. When Emma could see Regina again she was struggling in the grip of a tall man in a black sweater. Traffic was moving too fast for Emma to cross the street. She couldn’t breathe.

He was holding Regina by both hands and dragging her down the sidewalk. No one was helping her, why was no one helping her? It was the middle of the day. It was a busy street corner. What were these people doing? She was struggling but she was also tiny compared to him. She just needed to hold on till Emma could get across the street. The man dragged her in closer and said something. Emma felt sick. Regina turned to look at her. Emma saw an opening and started sprinting across the intersection. She heard brakes screech and a horn honk but she was onto the other sidewalk just as Regina was being shoved into a little silver car. 

She only just heard it over the roar of the streets “Get in your majesty and no one gets hurt.”

“Regina!” Emma’s shout was hoarse and wild and desperate. She only just managed to slam her fist onto the back windshield of the car before it peeled out into the street. She fruitlessly chased the car for a block until it drove out of shit. “Fuck.” She felt tears blurring her vision and her throat closing. “Fuck” She shouted, it was loud enough to draw some attention from the waves of passing strangers. They all stepped carefully around Regina’s spilled groceries, like she had never been there at all. She hated all of them. Regina was gone.

She crossed back to the other side of the street where Henry was hopelessly sobbing. She picked him up on instinct like he weighed nothing at all. He wrapped his legs around her like a koala and sobbed into her neck. “I’m going to get her back.” She promised. “That man knew she was from the Enchanted Forest. I’m going to find them and I’m going to get her back.” She willed it to be the truth. “I’m the saviour. I’m going to get her back.”

And so they pack bags. Every moment they wasted was another moment Regina was gone. Emma’s plan crystalized quickly. Telling Neal what had happened was not included in the plan. However, there were no flights to Maine available within the next eight hours. That meant it was more time efficient to drive, something Emma was not in a state to do. 

“Neal?” Her voice cracked as soon as he picked up the phone. “Help me with this and I’ll forgive you for everything. It’ll all be in the past, I just-”

“Em. Anything you want.”

* * *

Tamara and Neal picked her up within twenty minutes. “Where is Henry?”

“Safe.” Perhaps it was Emma’s paranoia. She had walked Henry to a hotel in a different borough of New York. She paid for the room in cash and checked in under a different name. Whoever took Regina knew she was the Evil Queen, wasn’t restrained by the Storybrooke townline, and knew where to find them. Leaving him alone and in tears made her ache but she couldn’t risk bringing him back to Storybrooke, and if someone found Regina she didn’t trust anything in New York. She bought a burner phone on the walk there.  _ Text me every half hour on the hour. Keep the door to your room latched. Order your meals from room service and have them leave the trays outside your door. Pay with this cash. Always look through your peephole. Don’t open for anyone who’s not me. If I don’t have your mother in 48 hours I’ll send Neal here to you.  _ Hopefully this was the last undue burden he’d have to bear. He was too brave for a boy his age. 

* * *

Emma tried not to cry on the drive down but by the fourth hour there was nothing else she could do. Neal pulled off the road once so Tamara could drive. The switch-off was mostly silent and Emma was twitchy and restless for every moment they were stopped. The Welcome to Storybrooke sign made her hands start to shake. Night had fallen and hour ago. Neal turned in the passenger. “We’ll go to my dad first.”

“Gold won’t help Regina. He hates her.”

“He’ll help if I say he will. He owes me, and he owes her.”

“Thank you.” Emma choked out.

* * *

Mary Margaret and David were already at the pawn shop. Emma hadn't been emotionally prepared to see them. She hadn’t wanted to see them. “Emma.” Mary Maragret cooed. 

“I don’t-” She covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed down the incoming tears. “I’m not here for you. I’m here to find Regina.”

“I don’t know why you’d come here for help.” Gold sneered. 

“Because you’re going to help us papa.” Neal said it with absolute certainty. 

“Why?”

“You owe it to Regina.” He said firmly. Emma was stunned by Neal’s confidence in the statement as he said it again. “She’s Henry’s mother and he won’t be okay without her. You’re my father but I’ll never forgive you if you don’t help us.” 

Gold cocked his head and cooly regarded Neal and Emma. “I think I have something.” He slipped back into the depths of the store.

“Emma.” Mary Margaret appealed again. Honestly she looked awful. Emma tried not to feel bad for her.

“I don't want to hear it Mary Margaret.” Emma snapped. She didn’t know her hands were shaking until Neal squeezed one. His was as clammy as it always was.

“Here.” Gold reappeared. He held a vial that glowed with magic. “These are Regina’s tears. If you pour them into your eye you will feel what feels, hear what she hears. It will help to locate her.”

“Why do you have her tears?” Neal was the one who asked. It’s the kind of detail that most people would ignore. Gold was holding a physical manifestation of a time that Regina suffered. 

He didn’t answer his son's question. “I had a vision of how I thought things would go when I got to you, in this world. The Dark One can see the future, but not the entire future. I knew I needed Regina to bring me into this realm before she was ever born. I knew it before she was ever thought of. I never considered what would happen to her afterwards. I never thought you would defend her to me.”

“That’s what I’m doing. I remember what you were like when I was a child. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Gold looked away and held the vial out. Emma took it. She cradled it with reverence before uncorking.

“Wait!” Mary Margaret exclaimed. “Let me do it.” Emma clenched her jaw. “Please Emma. You’ll want to go after her right away. Let me do this for you.”

“No.” Emma gritted out. “Do it for her.”

“Okay” Mary Margaret said, nodding. She reached out for it. Mary Margaret started screaming from the moment she poured the tears into her eyes. David was by her side in an instant, supporting her. Emma’s first instinct was to reach out to her. The realization rolled over her in waves, that this was what Regina was feeling right now. She was crying, shamelessly and openly in the fucking pawn shop. 

Neal put a hand on her shoulder. “She’s going to be okay.”

Mary Margaret’s fit was short lived. The screaming stopped and then she was breathing heavily. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know” Mary Margaret whimpered. “It just hurt.”

“What else?”

“It was cold. I could smell something strong. It was like fish.”

* * *

Emma’s heart was beating out of control as they approached the cannery. She had her old sheriff weapon tucked into her belt. Neal and David were on her flanks. The door was heavy but unlocked. Regina’s screams echoed around the empty rooms. They came and went in waves. Emma could not tell where they were coming from. Room after room was empty, until they got to the basement and the screams became a cacophony of noise. Emma pulled her gun and waited for David to do the same. The screaming started again and Emma couldn’t wait another second. She turned the corner into the room just as the screaming stopped. 

Regina was strapped to a metal slab. Wires ran from her temples to a macgyvered car battery. The man was standing over her. 

“Stop right there.” She pointed her gun at the man. She couldn’t look at Regina strapped to the table. She can’t bear it. Her coat was gone and she was wearing that soft red tank top that Emma bought her. It was the shirt she liked to wear when she cooked. The shirt that always smelled like Regina.

“She hasn’t confessed.” The man shouted.

“I don’t give a fuck. Put your hands up and back away.” The noise Regina made was so small and pitiful that Emma felt deeply compelled to shoot him.

“You don’t understand what she’s done. She needs to pay!”  
“Listen buddy, if anyone understands what she’d done it's me. You don’t have the right to do this though, and I won’t let you.”

“She needs to be punished.”

“That’s not how this works.” He reached for the switch again and Emma pulled the trigger without hesitation. She clipped him in the shoulder and he went down like a rock. David pushed past her to the man. Emma could finally go to Regina then. Regina’s eyes were fluttering. Emma wanted to wrap her up into her arms, but first she had to undo the restraints. Emma's hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t pull the strap out of the teeth. Neal was there. He moved her hands out of the way and quickly undid the strap. He had already undone the other three while Emma struggled with the first one. She could finally pull Regina into her then. Regina looped her arms around Emma’s neck and weakly held onto her. Emma put her hand on the back of Regina’s head. “I love you.” She whispered, not loud enough for anyone else to hear, maybe not even loud enough for Regina to hear. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” The thought sprung into her mind fully formed and undeniable. 

* * *

She texted Henry while Regina was in the hospital.  _ They will be back tomorrow morning. The man who took Regina is in jail. Regina is okay. No, she can’t talk right now. She’ll call him in the car ride in the morning. They are okay. They’ll be home soon. Everything is okay. _

When she was finally allowed to see Regina again she was much more lucid, and sat up in her hospital bed. “Regina.” Emma smiled as best as she could. “Hey.” She stood in the doorway of the room, unsure of where to go.

“Come here” Regina said, holding out her hand to Emma. There was still a thick leather cuff around her wrist.

“What’s this?” Emma cradled Regina’s offered hand. 

“It blocks my magic. No one can get it off. I think it might have to stay on till we cross the town line again.” Emma pulled on the cuff and it slid off Regina’s wrist easily. Regina huffed a little. “Of course you can do it.”

“I just pulled it off.” She hadn’t even had to try.

“Of course you did,” It was that tender, knowing Regina tone saved for the moments her words went right over Emma’s head. Regina took a deep breath. “That feels better.” Emma was still standing at the edge of Regina’s bed. “Whale wants me to rest. Come here, I can’t sleep without you.” Emma perched on the edge of the bed. “Come closer. I won’t break.” Emma positioned herself more fully onto the bed, leaning up against the headboard. Regina turned towards Emma and rested her head on her chest like it as the most natural thing in the world. Emma supposed at this point it was the most natural thing in the world.

She woke up hours later to bright hospital lights and a crick in her neck. Mary Margaret was sitting in the chair next to Regina’s bed. “Mom?” The word that she had only ever thought a handful of times slipped out of Emma’s mouth in her groggy state. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Mary Margaret’s voice wavered.

“I’m just glad she’s okay.” Emma whispered. Regina was heavy in her arms. Regina’s body heat warmed Emma’s chest.

“Yeah that too.” Mary Margaret said. “I’m sorry I didn’t see this before. I told myself I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to think about Regina.”

“You can’t always claim the moral high ground. If you don’t think about the other people. It wasn’t just about Cora, it was about Regina. And anything that’s about Regina, isn’t just about Regina.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Emma closed her eyes again. It was a very long time before she heard Mary Margaret leave the room. 

* * *

Neal, Tamara, and Gold picked them up at the hospital the next morning. Gold sat in the passenger seat. When Neal got out of the car to help Regina and Emma into the back Emma cocked her head at Gold. “He wants to talk, and he helped Regina when I asked, so we’re going to talk.” Neal explained.

“Really?” Emma asked.

“Maybe he’s changed? I’m not doing it for him, I’m doing it for myself.” Emma thought of Mary Margaret in Regina’s hospital room the night before.

“Rumple helped you find me?” Emma had never heard Regina call Gold by his Enchanted Forest name before.

“Yeah. He had a spell.” Emma said.

“You didn’t have to make a deal?”

“No. He gave it to us.” Regina peered at Gold through the back windshield. Neal opened the door and guided both Emma and Regina inside. 

Tamara was sitting in the backseat. “Regina, I’m glad you’re okay.” With a clear head Emma didn’t understand Tamara’s presence. She dropped everything to drive to Maine on a quest that she couldn’t possibly understand without the insane context of the Enchanted Forest. She had never suggested calling the police, or really questioned what was going on. Maybe she was just being a supportive fiancée for the full extension of Neal’s crazy family. Maybe Emma’s paranoia was still getting the better of her. Neal started to pull towards the townline. “Where has Henry been this whole time?” Tamara asked. The feeling in Emma’s gut spiked.

“I hid him somewhere secret in New York.” Emma continued to avoid specifics. “He knows we’re on our way back.” Emma wrapped her arms around Regina’s shoulders and let her lean into her. Tamara was fidgeting. Gold kept looking at Regina in the rearview mirror. 

“Regina-”

“Neal can you pull over.” Tamara cut Gold off just as they passed the Welcome to Storybrooke sign.

“What?”

“Can you please just pull over?” Neal obeyed and Tamara stumbled over to the side of the road and vomited spectacularly. Neal rushed to her side and rubbed her back as she puked into the long grass. Emma got out of the car to survey the situation. She glanced back at the car and saw Gold turned in his seat to talk to Regina. Tamara had stopped puking but was still hunched over. The car door opened. She turned and saw Regina exiting the car with her arms crossed. She wasn’t turned towards Neal and Tamara, rather away from Gold. 

“Hey you two, hands up.” Emma and Regina whirled around to see Tamara aiming a gun at them.

“What the fuck!” Neal was laying on his stomach with his hands on top of his head.

“Ladies! Hands up! Regina come around this side of the car!” Her voice had completely shifted. 

“Who the fuck are you? Are you the reason that man found us?” Emma shouted.

“Greg was never supposed to do that. We weren’t there for Regina.”

“Well that makes me feel better.” Regina snapped.

The passenger side door opened. “Rumplestiltskin. Come join the party.” Tamara shouted. “Come on out, I’m not afraid of you out here.” He emerged between Regina and Emma with his hands up. “The mission was never about Regina, it was always about magic. Greg and I are part of an organization that sees the truth. Magic is too dangerous to exist. It’s how I found Neal, why I found Neal. You two just happened to walk right into our path.”

“If it’s not about Regina, who was it about?” Emma asked desperately. She didn’t understand why Tamara had blown her cover. She didn’t like the gun that was pointed at Regina.

“Our contact needs Henry. He’s important to the mission. You ruined it when you left him in New York. Our time is running out.”

“Good thing then, cause we'll never fucking tell you where he is.”

“Don’t be fooled Swan. I know you’re soft. I know you’ll break.” She turned without hesitation and shot Neal in the calf. Emma flinched as he screamed. 

“What the fuck Tamara.” His voice was breaking. “Was everything a lie?”

“I am sorry Neal. You were very useful, and I thought you’d be on my side. You know how much magic hurts. But if you’ll forgive Rumplestilskin and befriend the Evil Queen, clearly I was wrong.”

“It’s my dad and my son’s mom. You’re talking about handing my son over, how could you think I’d be on your side?” He wept into the gravel road he lay on.

“I miscalculated. Tell me if I miscalculated about you Swan.” She aimed the gun back at Regina.

“You can’t expect me to hand over our kid. Tamara please.”

“He won’t be hurt, we just need him.”

Emma let out a dark chuckle. “ _ He won’t be hurt,  _ I feel much better now.” Tamara’s next shot hit Regina’s shin. She collapsed, crying out in pain. Emma felt the tears coming. “Please don’t do this, she sobbed.” Gold was on the ground with Regina, his hands on the bleeding gunshot wound.

“Don’t say anything Emma.” Regina cried. Emma could hear the pain in her voice. 

“The next one goes in your head Your Majesty.” Tamara reaimed, adjusting for Regina’s position sprawled out on the ground.

“Please!” Emma screamed, hands still above her head.

“You have five seconds.”

“You don’t have to do this. Magic can’t even leave Storybrooke.”

“5...4... 3..”

“We’ll go back over the town line. We’ll never leave again. We’ll make sure no one else ever leaves.”

“2...1...”

Tamara took the shot and then stepped back in shock. Emma check where the bullet landed. She moved with blind rage and panic, retrieving her gun from the backseat of the car and taking aim at Tamara before Tamara can adjust her gun to aim at her. The bullet connected with her chest with a sick wet sound.

She dropped her gun. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She turned to Regina, ready to lose everything she just got back. The sight that greeted her was something very different. Regina was sobbing in coherently but she was so very much awake, and alive. Instead Gold was draped over her, dead eyed, with a gunshot wound in his chest.

Emma pulled Gold’s body off of Regina. His blood covered her torso and splattered her face. She tried to rise to her knees and hold his body. But she couldn’t move with the gunshot wound in her leg. Emma helped her to his side. She couldn’t grasp what was happening. This was all she could do.

Regina let herself lean onto Gold’s body as she wept. “What did you do? Why would you...” She cried.

Neal made it to them just then, limping with his own matching gunshot wound. “Papa?” He had the voice of a child now. He collapsed next to Regina, crying just as she was. Emma saw Neal take one of Regina’s hands in his. She turned away, giving them a moment of privacy to mourn on the side of the road, barely a hundred yards outside of Storybrooke.

It turned out that Regina’s fears were unfounded. The Dark One in the world without magic was just a man. When a man dies the forces of magic and nature do not rise up, there is not a world ending disaster, he just dies. 


	12. We could go back to before (Emma)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep giving Emma these very long, very hard chapters. It just feels rights to be writing from Emma's perspective. We will finish on a Regina

It was grueling but the crime scene was self explanatory. Emma’s gun was registered to her, and Tamara’s gun had three matching gunshot wounds. The police seemed more than eager to label this a closed case. Regina got loaded into the first ambulance. She’s more hysterical and the blood that covered her makes her seem worse for the wear than Neal was. Emma heard something about shock from one of the paramedics. Regina and Neal were pulled away from Gold’s body when the police arrived, and all three of them were forced to be out of each other’s reach while they were interviewed and triaged. 

“Are you riding with her?” A paramedic asked.

“I don’t know... We-we were on our way back home to pick up our son from the..babysitter. But he’s in New York and I think this car belongs to Tamara.” She did not want to be apart from Regina but she had to get back to Henry.

“Is there anyone you can call?”

“No.”

“I don’t think you’re allowed to take the car if it belongs to the perp.” Right of course, she should’ve known that.

“Emma.” Regina pulled the oxygen mask off. “Please go get our son.”

“Right.” She rubbed her hands over her face. “We left my bug in town when we left. I can walk to it. I can bring him to you.” Regina nodded.

* * *

Emma was delirious from the lack of sleep and the hours of driving when they got back into Maine. She had driven all through the night and into the morning to get to Henry, and then turned right back around again. Regina texted them periodic updates in short awkward sentences. The hospital parking charge was exorbitant but it didn’t register. They fit into the crowds of people looking equally as haggard as Emma did. She held hands with Henry as they wound through the halls of the hospital. 

Emma had to ask four different people and said she was Regina’s wife before she was told a room number. They stopped at the doorway outside the room. The door was cracked. Regina was asleep in the bed next to the window. Her leg was in a brace. Neal was asleep in her visitors chair with his bandaged leg resting on the corner of Regina’s bed, next to her good leg. 

He was dozing but he jolted awake when they walked in the room. “Henry.” He smiled weakly.

“Hi. Does it hurt a lot?”

“Nah, getting shot isn’t too bad. Mine was all fat, least possible damage.” Neal was forcing a smile but his whole demeanor was off. He gestured for Henry. “Come here.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” Neal had to hunch over in his chair to hug Henry properly. “We are really lucky your mom is so smart, she kept you safe.”

“Yeah. She’s really good at that.” Henry said. Neal smiled weakly at Emma from his chair and a moment of pride cut through the days of exhaustion and despair. For every moment that she had failed, she had kept Henry safe when it mattered. 

“What’s the deal with this one?” Emma asked with forced casualness, nodding at Regina. 

“The bullet shattered her tibia. She had to have a little surgery and now she’s sleeping off the anesthesia.”

“The tibia is her shin right?” Henry asked.

“Yeah.” Emma confirmed. “How are you allowed to be in here?” Emma asked. “I had to say Regina was my wife to even get in here.”

Neal huffed. “I’m sure that was a big trial for you. We spent a lot of time waiting and Regina was being monitored for shock for a while. I was so turned around that I couldn’t even fill out my intake forms. So she filled them out, and we were mostly allowed to wait together.”

“But you got discharged and they just let you stay here?”

“I told them she was my sister so they’d let me stay.” He blushed.

Henry leaned over and examined Regina. “She’ll wake up soon.” Emma said, running her fingers through his hair. 

“I’m a little nervous. What if she’s really sad when she wakes up?”

“I think she might be.” Emma turned to look at Neal’s twisted expression.

“I don’t know what to do. Three days ago we were happy.” Henry didn’t know about Regina’s nightmares, or how she had cried after her mother died, or all of Emma’s deep fears that showed their face every time she left the bubble of their apartment. From his perspective they were happy. Looking at those things from this moment, maybe he was right, maybe that was as happy as a person got. This was a hole Emma couldn’t imagine them digging themselves out of.

“You don’t need to do anything. Regina will be so happy just to see you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure buddy.” Neal said. If Emma was nervous about what to say to Regina, she was at a loss about what to say to Neal. “Em have you slept?”

“No.”

“Please sleep. You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Em-”

“I don’t want to hear it. What about when Regina wakes up?”

“Mom, please.” Henry piped up. “I slept in the hotel last night but you were driving all night.”

“Where do you guys expect me to go? What about you, you’ve been shot, you’ve been in the hospital all night, you got discharged. You should go sleep somewhere.”

“I’ve been sleeping since I got discharged. Me and Henry can wait for her to wake up.”

“You really need to rest.” Emma knew she looked like shit but Neal did too. 

“I like the noise here. I can’t go somewhere quiet right now. Henry can read to us until Regina wakes up. We’ll call you then.”

* * *

Emma was back at the hospital five hours later. There was a nurse in the room when she arrived. “We’re very concerned about mobility and infection with these types of injuries. We’d like you to stay for one more night for observation and a consultation with our PT- Oh hello Mrs. Mills, I was just speaking to Mrs. Mills about her condition.”

“Can I listen?”

“Well that’s up to Mrs. Mills. Mr. Cassidy and Henry are still here.” It’s true, Henry was sitting next to Regina, wrapped up in her arms. Neal was still sitting in the chair he was in five hours ago.

“Come Emma.” Regina gestured to the empty space next to her. 

“All of these conditions were of course exacerbated by the fact that you were dehydrated, and that you, by your own admission, have not eaten much in the last few days, or slept much in the last few weeks.” Regina’s face was nearly white, which drew attention to the burns on her temple from the electric shock. She had an IV in. “After your consultation with our PT tomorrow, you will receive appropriate referrals for specialists in New York who you can visit once you return home.” Regina was holding Henry’s hand with her right arm, but the hand closer to Emma was resting delicately on her stomach. “I understand that Mr. Cassidy received some similar referrals. Someone will come talk to you before you are discharged about what to expect from your recovery. Do you have any questions? Would you like another dose of pain meds?”

“I’m quite alright thank you.”

“Okay perfect. I’ll leave you to it. Don’t hesitate to call for someone if the pain gets to be too much.”

As the nurse left Regina spoke again. “Emma, can you give Baelfire the keys to the car and whatever hotel room you booked? He needs rest somewhere that isn’t a chair and Henry needs food that didn’t come out of a vending machine.”

“I told you I don’t want to leave right now.” Neal said.

“At least take Henry for something to eat. If you’re not ready to sleep after that you can come back and pick up Miss Swan and the three of you will have a goodnight sleep before I’m discharged.”

“Mom I don’t want to go.”

“You can’t expect me to leave you alone all night.” Emma added. She had just got here. Regina couldn’t sleep without her. 

“I will be asleep. It won’t make any difference who is here.” It was a lie. An unconvincing one at that. “Henry I am so glad to see you, but you’re still my son and you have to let me take care of you. I’ve had enough of people running themselves ragged for my benefit.”

Emma saved her arguments till Henry and Neal had left for food. “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to leave.”

“This is my hospital room, I’ll have you removed if I have to.”

That made Emma reel back and stand up from the bed. “What the fuck?” Regina turned her head away. “Why would you do that? We can both sleep here like we always do.”

“You’ll sleep better at the hotel.”

“Bullshit. I won’t sleep a minute without you, and you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and I won’t be here.”

“I’m not a child Miss Swan. I don’t need you to hold my hand.”

“What if I need you? You just got shot. I thought Tamara was going to shoot you in the head. She tried to shoot you in the head. What..what would I...” She couldn’t finish the thought. “Why are you doing this?” Her voice cracked.

“I’m sorry.” Regina said.

“Then don’t ask me to leave.”

“I have to.”

“The only thing we have to do is what we want.”

“I’ll feel better if Henry is with you.” It was a trump card and she knew it. They sat in silence and Emma left when Neal came back to pick her up.

* * *

Regina got discharged the next day. Neal and Henry went to get her. Emma walked to the police station where all of their bags had been taken with the car. They were released to her along with information on how to collect Gold’s body. When she got back to the hotel Regina was there. 

They spent three more days at the hotel. They waited for Gold’s body to be cremated, it was easier to move ashes than to move a body. Emma and Regina shared one of the two double beds, but Regina slept with her back to her, instead of facing inwards. She still woke from her nightmares but Emma pretended to sleep through them now. Neal and Regina were hyper focused on Henry so Emma got food and floundered. She didn’t know what else to do.

* * *

They had a funeral when they got back to New York, with just the four of them. It was more of an opportunity for Regina and Neal to speak than anything else. Neal called him Papa and Regina called him Rumple. Regina talked about how he saved her from her mother, on the morning of her wedding day. It was implied that he saved her at the end too, but no one needed to say it. Neal talked about his happiest childhood memories. He said he was pretty sure that he was going to forgive Gold after they talked, and that on some level Gold must’ve known too. After they scattered the ashes Neal announced that he was leaving, not forever but for a time. He was going to put most of his stuff in a storage locker, not sell it or take it with him, and he was going to drive. He promised to send Henry a postcard from every city he stopped in and gave him his watch. Regina hugged him and made him promise to stop in one place long enough to see a PT for his leg. Emma offered him the bug and he took it. Tamara’s car was gone and Emma didn’t need the bug anymore, she and Regina had the Benz.

* * *

That night they lay in bed, facing away from each other and Regina spoke. “Do you know what he said to me in the car that day?”

Emma had forgotten that Regina and Gold were alone in the car for a couple of minutes. The only thing she really remembered from that day was the time between Tamara’s last gunshot and seeing Regina alive, when her whole life had come crashing down around her. “No, I don’t know.” 

“He said that he used to think he knew the future, and when you defeated me but didn’t kill me he realized his interpretations of his visions weren’t always right. And then when Baelfire fought for me he started to wonder if he could have done things differently. He apologized to me.”

“You thought I would kill you when I broke the curse?”

“Of course I did, he told me you would. I never really even considered that you wouldn’t until you...didn’t.” 

It put a different context on a lot of things Regina did. The further away they got from that part of their relationship the more obvious Regina’s desperation became. “I’m glad you and Neal both got apologies before he died.”

“He didn’t just die.”

No he didn’t, he sacrificed himself. Did one good thing make up for the rest? “I know.” She said. “I’m glad he did. I don’t know what’s going on with you. I don’t know if you want to get rid of this bed and get two to replace it. I don’t know if you want me to leave. I just know that I’m glad he did what he did, and I’m here as long as you still want me here.”

The silence in the world threatens to swallow Emma whole. “I still want you here.” She didn’t turn to face Emma. She didn’t move any closer, but it was something.

* * *

Three days later Regina announced that she was going to therapy. Henry seemed unsurprised, barely looking up from his homework. Emma was caught off guard. Regina went three times a week, which Emma had never heard of someone doing. Emma had also never really known someone who went to therapy before. She didn’t know what she was expecting, Regina didn’t have fewer nightmares and if anything she got quieter. 

One night Regina stayed on the couch long after Emma went to bed. Emma woke up the next morning to find Regina sleeping on the couch. She left for work without eating breakfast or waking Regina or Henry. She was so sure that Regina would ask her to leave, or worse, leave herself and leave Emma stuck with this apartment they had shared. She knew Regina would never have either of them separated from Henry, but New York was a big city, with a lot of places for one of them to go.

She was scared to go home. The apartment was the first place she had ever really considered home. She sat in a bar half a block away from their apartment and ran down the clock. She watched her watch and imagined their nightly routine playing out. Right now they were eating dinner. Right now Henry was doing his homework. Right now he was getting ready for bed. Right now Regina was reading on the couch. Emma’s phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” Regina snapped.

“Oh I’m just-”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been texting you. I lied to Henry and told him I knew where you were.”

“I wasn’t checking my phone.” Emma said sheepishly.

“You weren’t checking your phone? What goes on in that little brain of yours Miss Swan?”

“Jeez-”

“I was kidnapped and tortured less than a month ago by a group of people who are after our son and you thought it was okay to disappear and not answer your phone.”

“I’m sorry I-”

“Come home right now.” Regina hung up the phone before Emma could get another word in edgewise. Shit. She admittedly hadn’t considered it from Regina’s perspective. She hadn’t thought Regina might be worried about her.

Regina was sitting in a dining room chair when Emma got home. The only light that was on was the dining room one. Regina remained silent as Emma walked across the dark living room and sat in the chair opposite her. Emma waited for Regina to talk first. She was expecting curt professionalism and cool anger. 

“That wasn’t okay. You can’t do that.” She sounded hurt, or scared.

“I know.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Why didn’t you come to bed last night?” 

Regina frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you ever look at me anymore, or talk to me?”

“I told you I still wanted you here.”

“That’s not what you were showing me Regina. I thought you were going to ask me to move out. I couldn’t come home if you were going to ask me to leave.”

“Why would I ask you to leave?”

“Well it certainly seems like you don’t want me here.” Emma had to temper her volume. Henry was sleeping a room over. 

Any fight drained out of Regina then. To Emma’s horror Regina started to cry. She cried silent shoulder shaking sobs, exactly like the ones Emma had been ignoring every night. She couldn’t do it anymore. Emma stood up and pulled Regina into her arms. Regina buried her nose into Emma’s neck like she always did. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t want you. I just don’t know what to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want everything to be the way it was before.” That was all Emma wanted.

“And why can’t it be?”

“You do too much for me Emma. Everyone does too much for me. I don’t deserve it. You said you love me but I wish you didn’t.” It was the first time either of them had acknowledged what Emma said.

“I don’t think I can stop.” She knew she couldn’t. 

“I’m scared. Emma I really don’t want you to die.” She had pulled back but Emma stayed close to her.

“What good is it if you push me away now though?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, or with an agenda. I was just scared.”

“Can we just go to bed?”

“I’m not... I still feel...” Regina made a stiff motion at her chest, trying to describe the feeling.

“What if you just let me hold you tonight and then we see what happens tomorrow?”

Regina’s eyes were soft. Emma wanted to trace the features of her face over and over again. “Okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to anyone who is still reading. We've only got one more to go


	13. We Could Be True Love (Regina)

Regina’s therapist was a woman named Carol. Regina told Carol that she had escaped a cult. This seemed to be a convenient enough lie to hold all of Regina’s stories. There were many things about Regina that Carol could never understand. Regina had anticipated this going in. Carol would never understand that the call of dark magic is so sweet and so tempting. Carol would never understand that Regina’s mother had been unable to love her till the last moments of her life. Carol would never understand the Evil Queen, or the way she haunts Regina’s waking hours. Carol would never understand the significance of Regina being in love with the woman who was prophesied to destroy her.

Somehow there were still a great many things that Carol did understand. She expected to shock Carol or leave her at a loss for words. She never did. Carol’s sympathetic eyes and measured reactions never wore thin. Boyfriends get murdered. Mothers abuse their daughters. Old men control young girls for their own gain. Mothers die before they get a chance to apologize. It was morbidly comforting for Regina to know that terrible things transcend realms. Carol used words like grief and trauma often. 

Regina told Carol about the bad things she did too. Carol said abuse victims often misdirect their anger towards people it is safer to be angry at. Carol explained the cycle of abuse and recommended a book and considering family therapy. Regina could not tell Carol all her sins. It wasn’t feasible.

Carol did not agree with Regina about Emma. Emma also seemed not to agree with Regina about Emma. Carol said Regina was letting her past trauma control her. Carol said that Emma wasn’t Daniel. Regina walked out of that session and almost didn’t come back for the next one.

* * *

Emma had been spending much more time at home. She treated Regina like she was a wild animal she didn’t want to spook. The care was still there but all the ease that had existed between them was gone. 

One Sunday morning Henry asked “Can we go to Central Park?” They hadn’t been to a single tourist attraction in all their time in New York. They honestly hadn’t done much in all their time in New York. “Let’s just all spend the day together.”

It was mild out and they walked with Henry in between them. He ran the conversation as he often did now. Emma and Regina were less likely to engage each other directly now. Emma appeared to be in a good mood. Henry coaxed some good bounty hunting stories out of Emma and they both laughed.

“What about you mom?” He turned to Regina.

“Oh you don’t want to hear any of my stories. They’re all terribly dreary.”

“Come on Regina. I’m sure you have one.” It was the first time Emma had pushed her in a while. Carol would tell her to participate in the conversation. It was a good exercise to recall pleasant memories from her past.

“I can only think of one good one.”

“Okay.” Henry said eagerly. Maybe he was eager to hear stories where she wasn’t the Evil Queen.

“When I was about Henry’s age I was a bit of a trouble maker.”

“So he got it from you then, not me!” Emma exclaimed.

“I’m sure that between the two of us there is more than enough trouble for him to get around.”

“I’m not a troublemaker.” Henry cried indignantly. 

Emma actually laughed at that. “Anyways, There was a prince visiting, not a terribly important one. He was maybe eighteen but to me he seemed ancient. He made fun of my horses, and he was a terrible priss.” Emma snorted. “So one day when I finished my lessons, I spent an hour catching bugs in the woods. I convinced a servant to let me into his room and I hid them in his clothes, in his water glasses, in his bed. He was drunk when he went to bed that night so he ended up drinking a spider before he realized what was happening.”

“Mom!”

“He left the next morning so I got what I wanted.” Regina said smugly. She hadn’t realized till much later that Cora must’ve been considering him as a future marriage prospect. She’d been furious.

“So Henry, what have we learned from this story?” Emma asked in a mock serene tone. 

“Hey, you told him stories about stalking and getting into fights with grown men.”

“All in the name of the law.”

“We learned that it’s okay to play pranks on people if they're a priss” Henry said in a tone equally as solemn as Emma’s.

“Oh look, a carousel.” Regina said.

Henry perked up and then put his hands in his pocket. “I’m too old for carousels.”

“You know it’s impossible to be too old if you’ve never ever ridden a carousel before.” Emma said.

“Carousels are for babies” Henry muttered.

“Can you do it for me?” Regina implored. “I want to take pictures of you.”

“You’re so embarrassing mom.” He whined, so unconvincingly. He skipped over to the lineup while Emma and Regina waitied at a spot with a good view.

“Make sure you get a good horse.” Regina called after him.

For a while they stood in silence. Regina snapped pictures of Henry when he passed them. Then Emma’s phone rang in her hand. Regina saw the name David before Emma declined the call and stuffed the phone into her pocket. 

“Have your parents been calling you?”

Emma scowled. “Yeah, a little. I’ve never picked up before.” Her voice had an edge of defensiveness to it and she wouldn’t look at Regina.

“You don’t have to ignore the phone calls on my account.”

“What?”

“I don’t expect you to not talk to your parents forever because Snow did one bad thing to me.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not.” Regina did understand why Emma thought that. But it hadn’t even been Regina’s idea to leave Storybrooke. She hadn’t threatened Snow with death once since the incident.

“Well what if I just don’t want to talk to them?” Emma had her phone in her hands again. She turned it over and over.

“Then you absolutely don’t have to.”

“It’s just I told Mary Maragret that you and I were working on it. I asked her to trust me and I trusted her and she let me down.” Emma scuffed her shoe on the pavement.

“I don’t know much about forgiveness, or healthy relationships, or mothers. But I wish I had had even an extra minute to make peace with my mother before she died. I know Baelfire feels the same about Rumple.”

“What so I have to be best friends with them just in case they die? That’s bullshit.” Emma always seemed younger when talking about her parents, like a teenager with a chip on her shoulder.

“No. But maybe, eventually you should pick up the phone. Even if it’s just to tell them how you feel and hang up again.”

“I dunno.” Emma mumbled, looking at the phone in her hands.

“Not being in Storybrooke doesn’t fix everything that happened there.” Not being in the Enchanted Forest hadn’t fixed everything that happened there either.

“I know.” Emma finally looked at her. Her gaze was so intense that Regina blushed. 

“Can we go get bagels now?” Henry bounced over to them. “Jackson says that the best bagel place in New York isn’t too far away.”

“The  _ best  _ bagel place in New York?” Emma exclaimed. “Does Jackson really have the authority to decide that?”

“Jackson is cool. He knows what he’s talking about.” Henry protested.  
“Uh I’m cool.” Emma declared.

* * *

When the phone rang that night, after Henry went to bed, Emma went into their bedroom to answer it. She was gone for the full twenty minutes it took Regina to put away the dinner dishes, brush her teeth and wash her face. She emerged from their room with her phone still in her hand. Regina tried to gage her mood without looking too closely at Emma. Emma locked herself in the bathroom for another eight and half minutes before emerging again. She paused between the bedroom and the bathroom.

“I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay.”

“Do you maybe want to come with me?” Emma was fidgeting. She still had her phone in her hand.

“Yeah okay.”

They lay next to each other in silence. Regina felt Emma inch closer towards her. “Is this okay?” Emma whispered.

“Yes.”

Emma slung an arm over Regina's waist and pulled Regina flush against her. “How about now?”

“Yes this is okay.” Regina felt Emma relax into her. “What did your parents say?”

“It was just David.”

“What did David say?”

“They figured out how to grow magic beans. When the plants mature, they’re considering going back to the Enchanted Forest.”

“Oh. Do you want... to go with them?” Regina tried not to panic at that thought.

“Not at all. I’m from here. I like it here. I don’t want to be a princess, or live somewhere that doesn’t have running water.” 

Regina took a shaky breath. “Do you want to go back to Storybrooke? To... talk about this, or spend time with them...”

“It feels like an ultimatum. Come here, forgive Mary Maragret, come to the Enchanted Forest, or lose us forever.” Emma buried her nose in Regina’s hair and breathed deep shaky breaths.

“You don’t have to forgive Snow on her schedule. You don’t have to go where you don’t want to go, or be anything you don’t want to be.” Regina turned in Emma’s arms so she could hold the other woman. 

“I want us to stay here.” 

“Then we’ll stay here.”

* * *

Regina talked to Henry the next day. “I really am sorry about a lot of the things I did.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel crazy, and I’m sorry I tried to control you.”

“Mom I know.”

“And it’s okay if you’re not ready to forgive me yet. I know that I got hurt a lot and that was scary but you don’t have to forgive me just because of that. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

“I know. I’m glad you’re going to therapy or whatever, but I’m really good.” He smiled. “I never wanted to be mad at you. You’ve changed, and I forgave you even before you got hurt.” Regina hugged him, and kissed the top of his head. “I really like this mom.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I just have one question.”

“Anything.”

“Why do you and Emma sleep in the same bed? I know you’re not together. If you were together you’d tell me and Emma would get all awkward about it.”

She could picture it. Regina would be nervous and eager for Henry’s approval. She’d be curt and professional about it. The air wouldn’t be right and Emma would fidget and make bad jokes to counteract it. Regina smiled at the thought. “I don’t know. We got into the habit while we were staying in the motel. We sleep better in the same bed.”

“Do you love her?”

“Henry.” she tried to produce a warning tone.

“Do you know that she loves you?” The answer to both the questions was yes, of course. 

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?” Emma was standing in the doorway to their bedroom, still in her pyjamas. Regina didn’t remember hearing the door open. She was wearing the tank top she had slept in. She was rumpled. She looked hurt.

“Henry can you go to your room please?”

He nodded and hugged her quickly. “Please be brave mom.” He whispered before scampering off.

“Why isn’t it that easy Regina?” Emma didn’t move closer to her. There was an edge in her voice.

“You’re in love with me and you do too much for me. Soon you’ll either get over it and realize that I’m not worth all this, or you’ll burn out.”

“Wow, conceited much?” Emma scoffed, crossing her arms.

Regina couldn’t forget the haggard look in Emma’s eyes, or the way she had begged Tamara. Regina spent days, wondering what would’ve happened if Emma had been next to her instead of Rumple. Would she be the one who was dead now? “This is all too much.” Regina gestured vaguely around herself.

“This isn’t just about you! I wasn’t in love with you when we left Storybrooke. I wanted to leave.”

“I’m not saying everything is about me. I’m just saying this is too much.” She knew Emma was running from her own life just as much as she was saving Regina from hers when they left.

“Just say you don’t love me, stop dancing around the point.” Emma snapped. Her arms were still crossed and she still stood in the doorway.

“Please that’s not what I mean, of course I love you.”

“You love me?”

“Emma, we just restarted our lives from scratch. I was kidnapped. I was shot. You ran yourself ragged over it. My mother died. Your parents might be leaving to another realm. We live together. We share a room and a bed and a son. A few months ago we hated each other. Isn’t this all too much?”

“You love me.”

“Of course I do.”

Emma walked over and sat on the couch opposite Regina.“I love you too.”

Regina couldn’t help but smile a little. “I know.” 

Emma smiled back and Regina’s heart fluttered. “Yeah you made it pretty clear that you know. It just felt right to say it back.”

“Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing Rumple did if you had the chance.”

“You want me to lie to you?” Emma asked with a little too much humour in her voice. Regina sunk into the couch. “You can’t hold that against me. In a different alternate scenario you’d have done the same for me. Either of us would do the same for Henry. You don’t decide who you’d take a bullet for, you can’t run from the fact, it’s just something you know in your gut. I think the only thing you can do is hope that there’s never a gun pointed at the two of you.” 

“There  _ just _ was a gun pointed at the two of us!” Regina almost shouted. 

Emma got up and moved next to Regina. “I know you’re scared but we can’t go on like this forever. Something’s got to give Gina.”

“Are you saying that you’ll leave if I don’t figure this out?” Regina whispered.

“You know that’s not what I’m saying.” Emma said softly, holding Regina’s hand. “I’m saying it’s not fair of you to ignore this forever. It’s not fair for either of us.” 

“What if we have to go really really slowly?” Regina asked.

“As slowly as possible for two people who live and coparent together.”

“What if I drive you crazy?”

“You already do.”

“What if you die?”

“What if I don’t?” Regina took a breath and looked at Emma. Be brave Regina. One.. Two... Three... She surged forward and pressed her lips Emma’s with reckless abandon. Emma put her hands on Regina’s hips and returned the kiss with equal vigour. Regina was leaning precariously over Emma until Emma pulled her down into her lap. All the thoughts in Regina’s head were silent for a moment. She was overwhelmed by Emma. She threaded her fingers through Emma’s perfect blonde hair and basked in the feeling of her lips.

Emma pulled back and looked up at Regina. Her eyes were shining and she was smiling, just a little. “Really really slowly?” She asked cockily.

“Yeah.” Regina confirmed, running her finger overs over Emma’s bottom lip. “Really really slowly.”

* * *

Their first real fight was three weeks later. David and Mary Margaret called and told Emma they weren’t going to the Enchanted Forest. They were going to stay and govern Storybrooke, and word on breaking the seal on the townline. This somehow agitated Emma more than the idea of them leaving. Regina told Emma to tell them that she could help with magic or sorting out mayoral paperwork if they needed it. She thought she was being supportive but that made Emma even more mad. 

It all culminated in Regina calling Emma a child and Emma sleeping on the couch for two nights. “I’m sorry.” Emma whispered when she crawled into bed on the third night.

“I was trying to be helpful.”

“I know. It’s just, they’re my parents and I don’t know what to do about it. At least if they left I’d have a reason to never think about them again.” Emma wrapped her arms around Regina.

“I think if they had left it would’ve come back to you eventually. This sort of thing isn’t out of sight, out of mind.”

“I know.”

* * *

They had sex for the first time two weeks after that. Regina was shocked that she held out for that long. She had wanted to jump Emma’s bones from basically the moment she met her. Emma had been almost a little too serious about Regina’s impoloration that they go very very slowly. She was endlessly sweet and patient and it started to drive Regina crazy. It took Regina leaning in one night and whispering “Are you going to fuck me now Miss Swan?” for anything of substance to happen. Afterwards they had laid next to each other while Regina caught her breath, with a satisfied smirk creeping onto her face.

“That was like super hot.” Emma whispered, a dumb expression on her face.

“I know.”

“You are such a brat.” Emma pulled Regina into her arms and kissed her bare shoulder. Regina chuckled.

* * *

Regina had her last nightmare eight weeks after that. Neither of them knew it was her last nightmare. It was one of the ones that featured her mothers smiling ghostly face. She woke up crying and didn’t fall asleep again for an hour and a half. Emma held her and whispered platitudes. And the next morning they got up and ate breakfast together and Emma walked Henry to school while Regina rushed to her 9am job interview. It took weeks for Regina to realize the nightmares were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the people who stuck with this up until now, and thank you if you commenting <3


End file.
